


STAR WARS: Redemption

by Cowoline



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, BAMF Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Loneliness, POV Ben Solo, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-Trost Arc, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Slow Burn, Star Wars: The Old Republic - Shadow of Revan, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Trost Arc Spoilers, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21986503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cowoline/pseuds/Cowoline
Summary: Warning: Spoiler for TROSThere was nothing a mother wouldn’t do for her son, and with all that had gone wrong in the galaxy someone deserved the chance at peace and redemption. It was too late for them, but not for him.---In his journey to redeem himself, Ben Solo seeks out the knowledge of the Jedi and Sith who came before them. Those who have had conflict within them and had been pulled to both the light and the dark. His new Master, a force ghost, guides him in his search which leads him to the tales of Revan, Malgus and many others. Through their experiences Ben hopes he might never fear falling to the dark again.Rey has to come to terms with her feelings for Ben and the future of the Jedi, while Finn is hiding a secret he is uncertain how to deal with.---Rey held him tight as she looked down at him. “Ben? Ben, talk to me... please.”He managed to open his eyes and look up into hers with a small smile. “It took more out of me than I thought.” That’s a lie. He had expected to die from reviving her.---Sorry, J.J. Abrams, but you're not having the last word.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 155
Kudos: 438





	1. Chapter 1

Rey laid on the floor. Her eyes were open but devoid of all life. Yet something lingered. She had not become one with the force. It was a power that held on and transcended the natural passing of a Jedi. The will of the force had created a bond that went beyond even death. A pale hand lingered in the dust as a black figure clung to the ledge. Ben managed to drag himself from the abyss. Pull himself out of the darkness and into the light. The pain in his eyes as he saw her was unmistakable, and limping he hurried to her side. He held her in his arms and the bond between them resonated through the force. One could not be without the other. Either they would die together or they would become one. There was no other option.

With resolve Ben didn’t even hesitate as he made his decision. He put his hand on her stomach and let his life energy transfer into her. The force lingered all around them and the bond felt stronger even as his own dimmed. He would die to save her. All that he had ever loved he lost to Kylo Ren and the isolation he felt. He could not lose her as well.

“Leia! What are you doing?!” Luke stared at the force of his sister as she stood behind Ben as he tried to heal Rey.

Leia reached out for Ben’s shoulder and Luke grabbed it. “It’s killing him,” she murmured not looking away from her son. 

“This is his redemption and way back to the light. If you interfere--”

Leia looked at Luke with a small smile. “He is my son.”

At that moment Luke knew he had lost the argument. He saw how he had tried to strike down the boy so many years ago. It had all been his fault, and as he looked at him now he realised how much Ben had suffered. In a way it was only fitting. Love was what drove his father to the dark, but love was what kept pulling his nephew to the light. And that love was now killing him as he was transferring all of his life force to Rey.

Leia reached out again and placed her hand on Ben’s shoulder as part of her dwindled into her son. Ben could not see them, there wasn’t enough left of him to conjure them. Luke placed his hand on top of Leia’s and she gave him a stunned look.

“I created this mess. I did this to him. Let this be _my_ redemption. Besides, with both of us giving our force we might still exist after this.”

Leia smiled as she placed the other hand on top of his and held it tight. Another hand is placed on Ben’s other shoulder and Luke looked up to see his father.

“I remember what losing Padme did to me. Your mother was the last light left in me, and when she died so did that last spark. If I can spare my grandson and Rey the pain I felt when I lost your mother, then…” With a smile Anakin let his force mingle with theirs as it travelled into Ben.

Another hand lands on Anakin’s and they look to him in astonishment.

“Well, hello there.” Obi-Wan grinned, and somehow it made him look younger. “Don’t look so surprised. The boy was named after me after all.”

They all looked to Ben as they poured their force into him, making him a conduite rather than a source.

“You’re thinking of Satine.” Anakin murmured with a small smile.

“I’m thinking of all we lost,” Obi-Wan sighed his face turning old once again.

Rey’s hand grabbed Ben’s and they all let go. They all felt the loss, but they were still part of the force.

* * *

Ben smiled even as he wanted to sob with relief at seeing her alive. And when she smiled at him, he knew it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“Ben.” Her hand was on his as she stared at him as a rush of happiness ran through him. Or so he thought, for when she kissed him, and he pulled her closer into his arms, he was convinced he had never truly felt happiness until that moment.

He smiled when she pulled away, and it occurred to him that he had forgotten what it felt like. He fell back onto the ground and Rey gasped.

“Ben? Ben, talk to me... please.”

He managed to open his eyes and look up into hers with a small smile. “It took more out of me than I thought.” That’s a lie. He had expected to die from reviving her, but he would not burden her with that knowledge.

“It nearly killed you to save me.” He heard the distress in her voice and reached for her cheek.

“It was worth it to see you smile.”

She smiled at him, and it was bright and happy. It was everything he had ever wished to see on her face embodied in that one look alone.

“Here. Let me help you up and get you out of here.” Only dead a mere minute ago she was now helping him to his feet. An enemy… no, that wasn’t right. They had never truly been enemies. An _adversary_ only a day ago, now carried his weight to safety and with small gestures showed him more affection than he had felt for the past fifteen years. Rey helped him towards Luke’s X-wing, but Ben stopped in his tracks.

“I can’t come with you.”

“Hold on.” She tightened her grip on him to give him more support. “Just a little bit further.”

“Rey.” He stopped her and made her turn towards him. “I _can’t_ come with you.”

She gave him a confused look. “I just need to get you back to the resistance, then we--”

He placed both hands on her cheeks and looked down into her eyes with a serious expression. “The resistance won’t take me in. You know that. I am responsible for the death of millions. The deaths of their friends - _your_ friends.”

“You’re not that man anymore. Ben, what you have done here today - _for me_ , proves that. There _is_ light in you.” She placed a hand above his heart and he felt it stop for just a moment.

“And you might see that, but they won’t. After all that they have lost how could they?” He closed his eyes with regret. “Especially after the death of my mother.”

“I’m not losing you. Not after all this.” She looked at him with teary eyes, filled with defiance.

“You won’t, but you know I can’t come with you.”

She shook her head, but he could tell that for once she was actually listening to him. “Where will you go?”

“I have no idea. Somewhere where I can hide from the resistance and whatever remains of the First Order.”

“When will I see you again?”

He felt a lump in his throat. “I don’t know. When things are settled, perhaps? When I know it is safe. I will be hunted for some time, I suspect.”

She took one of his hands between hers and squeezed it while placing it over her heart. “We stand a better chance by standing together.”

“I can’t put you in any more danger. I already lost you once, I am not prepared to risk it again. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart.” The endearment lingered pleasantly on his tongue as his heart fluttered. “I promise.”

He brushed her cheek with his thumb and she nodded with understanding before they walked the last distance towards their ships. She stopped him as he limped towards his TIE-fighter.

“I need to tell you--”

He interrupted her with a kiss and pulled her close. It was only their second kiss, but it already felt familiar without losing any of its intoxicating allure.

When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers. “Tell me once we’re together again.”

“Be safe,” she murmured and looked up at him with tears brimming in her eyes. It was almost enough to shatter his resolve, but he knew what he had to do. He waited as her ship took off the ground and held his breath until he saw it reaching the safety of the rebellion fleet. Ben then activated his own ship and travelled out of the system towards a destination yet unknown to him.

* * *

When Rey returned to the resistance base it was bittersweet. People were relieved and happy, but they also mourned. No one more so than Chewie, who was distraught by Leia’s death. More than anyone he had lost many friends dear to him. Han. Luke. Leia. Rey could sense his feelings even from a distance, and she shared his loss. The Skywalkers were the only family she could remember having, and she almost lost Ben too. She looked to the sky and wondered where he was. If he managed to retreat safely. She closed her eyes and reached for him, and she could feel him. It was only for a moment and it was as fleeting as a child’s kiss, but it was enough.

She walked down and saw Chewie sitting on a crate in front of his ship - wallowing in his despair. Wookies could get very old, and from what she has managed to figure out from his past, he had been involved in this conflict since the Clone Wars. Since Vader and her grandfather waged a war that tore the galaxy apart. A war so momentous it was still felt, and would continue to be felt for generations to come. 

Chewie made a wailing sound as he saw her and she ran to him and wrapped her arms around him. Even sitting down he was taller than her.

“I know. They’re still with us. In the force. I can feel them. And she succeeded, Chewie. Ben turned to the light at the end.” She smiled and Chewie yowled in relief.

She sat with him for awhile as he remembered them. Their adventours. Their arguments. He even mentioned how he played with Ben as a child and how reckless he was when aboard the Falcon. 

Eventually she had to join the remaining leaders of the resistance in the cave. She was not surprised to find that Poe was the one, who has been given the mantle of command. Maz greeted her warmly by taking Rey’s hand between both of hers.

“I’m glad to see you back in one piece. Leia found peace once you were gone. She wanted to turn her son to the light.”

Before Rey had the chance to answer, Poe began to speak.

“Today is a victory. I know we have lost a lot of people, but today we not only dealt a massive blow to the First Order. We destroyed the Final Order. Rey, our own favourite jedi--” He grins at her before continuing. “Defeated Palpatine. But most importantly, we united. Not just us, but everyone. The ideals General Organa stood for is not lost to us. Leia’s strength, determination, and hopes live on in us.” Poe raised his hand in a fist and the people cheered. It was a glorious sound and as Rey closed her eyes she could almost hear the voices of the dead cheering with them.

Finn smacked Poe’s shoulder with a grin and then looked at the rest of them with determination. “Now we just need to make sure we find Kylo Ren and kill him so they don’t have the chance to rebuild.”

“Kylo Ren is dead,” Rey murmured as she turned looking out from the cave and out into the light. After a lifetime of seeing nothing but warren wastelands she still found nature so beautiful.

“What was that, Rey?” Finn asked as he walked up next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

She turned and looked at them. “Kylo Ren came and helped me stop Palpatine. I couldn’t have done it without him. Kylo Ren died turning his back on Palpatine and the First Order. He protected me. Saved me.”

“Then Leia managed to reach him.” Maz nodded with a small smile. “Her sacrifice wasn’t for nothing, and her son finally returned home.”

She felt both Finn’s hands on her shoulders. His voice was low as he spoke. “Are you alright?”

The answer that was true was not one Finn wanted to hear. His question was not related to whether or not she missed Ben - to him it was unthinkable - but rather if Ben had hurt her. Physically, not emotionally.

“I’m fine.” She smiled and he nodded as he returned it.

“Then what we need to do now is to ensure that the people we lost today didn’t die for nothing,” Poe continued, his voice loud and clear. “Prove to the people, who put their faith in us today, that they were right to trust us. We will honour them all!”

The crowd cheered and clapped, before people started to gather for a celebration. They lit a bonfire, put on music and food and drink seem to appear out of nowhere as the people celebrated. As the darkness engulfed the forest and the fire was the only light, people danced happily around it.

“This reminds me of the time, where Master Luke defeated the Emperor,” C-3PO mused.

R2-D2 let out a series of beeps.

“Well, yes, I am rather glad I am not being paraded about like a god. Or that no one is trying to eat our friends for that matter.”

Rey chuckled and looked over at Chewbacca, who was still sitting by himself, but did seem to be in better spirits than earlier. Rose dragged Finn to his feet and made him dance with her, and Rey found herself laughing.

“Oh Ben, I wish you could see this. This is your victory too.” She murmured it to herself, but she expected him to show. Only he didn’t. Rey gave a disappointed sigh. When she had the opportunity, she needed to learn more about their dyad. Right then, she had no idea of how to control it. It happened randomly instead of being governed by will. When Finn danced by her he reached for her hand and she took it without hesitation, joining in the celebration. If Ben wasn’t there to enjoy it with her, then she would enjoy it for both of them. Perhaps he would sense her happiness and wish for him to be with her, wherever he was.

* * *

Stars rushed by as Ben tried to find out what direction to take himself in. At that moment he was aiming for the Outer Rim to get as far away from the First Order as possible. With any luck they would think death was the reason for his sudden disappearance. He feared that what was left of the Order of Ren would not be so easily fooled. He might defeat them as he did back on Exogol, but he no longer had a lightsaber nor did he have a wish to kill them. He closed his eyes and listened to the beeping sounds of the fighter’s controls. Fuel was running out and the vessel had taken quite the beating. It was in great need of repair. He reached out and sensed Rey. He wished he had better control over their dyad forcebond, but it was as of yet still a mystery to him. While he had managed some control he was still weak and needed to recover.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Ben sat the navigation to autopilot and turned to look at the force ghost.

“Luke.” There was still anger in his voice when he said his uncle’s name.

“I know, I know. I'm the last person you wish to see, but I am who you _need_ to see. I--” Luke looked at him with shame in his eyes. Ben had seen that look before, but he still could find no pity or compassion in his heart for him.

“I am so proud of you, Ben. Your mother is, too.”

Ben swallowed and felt a sting in his heart at the mention of his mother. His eyes felt heavy and unshed tears filled his eyes, but he didn’t speak. Instead he let Luke continue.

“Turning from the dark… you have every bit of strength your grandfather did. And I’m sorry for ever doubting you. What happened was my fault. I see that now. Snoke might have tempted you, but I was the one who pushed you.”

“I know.” Ben’s voice was hard and filled with resentment. He should let it go. Let go of the past as he told Rey so many times, but this was harder. “Why are you here?”

“You need guidance. Your training is not yet complete and your looking for answers without any direction.”

“The force will guide me.” His voice was firm and unmoved by his uncle’s words.

“Which is why I am here now.”

Ben nearly laughed. “And you think I will take guidance from you? That I will _ever_ trust you again.”

“No,” Luke admitted with grief in his eyes. “I don’t.”

“Which is why I am here.” The voice was almost cheerful. Unfamiliar and yet...

Ben turned his head and saw the force ghost of a bearded jedi looking back at him with a smile.

“Hello there.”

Ben had never met the man, but he knew of him. “Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“That’s ‘Master’ to you, my _very_ young apprentice.” There was some mirth to his being Ben couldn’t help but feel comforting. “After what happened between you and Luke, I thought it best if I took upon training you myself, as I did your grandfather.”

Ben looked down for a moment. “Not to be disrespectful--”

“Which means you think it’s wrong, but you’re going to be so anyway.” Obi-Wan smiled. “Go ahead.”

“My grandfather turned to the dark despite of your training. How can you help me? I still feel it calling to me, but I can’t surrender to it again. I would rather die than become what I was.”

“Ben, listen to me.” Luke reached for his hand, but Ben pulled it to him in disgust. “My father was drawn to the dark. He tried to resist it, but couldn’t. It was too deeply founded in him to let it go. You are the opposite.”

Obi-Wan held out a hand for Luke to stop speaking. “I understand your concerns. I can’t say I don’t have any myself. Your grandfather was like a brother to me, and I loved him. I was so proud of him, and in my hubris I didn’t see what he was becoming. I didn’t want to. But I am far older now. Wiser. I trained Luke as a way to make amends for failing your father. And now I hope I might do the same for you.”

“Thank you, but I have learned I can trust no one.” Ben spun in his chair back towards the controls. “Not even the Jedi.”

“Not even Rey?” Ben heard the challenge in Luke’s voice.

“That is different. She is…” He swallows for a moment before he admits, what has been haunting him for the past year. “... everything to me.”

Obi-Wan’s force ghost leaned in and looked at the controls. “You won’t last much longer if you keep searching aimlessly through the stars. I know you want to find balance and certainty that you can commit to the light. I know where you can find those answers. If you let me help you.”

Ben turned his gaze up at him. “You know where I can find help? Make sure I can stay in the light - for her.”

“It won’t be easy, but yes.”

Ben looked at Obi-Wan for what seemed like minutes then nodded. “Thank you. I’ll accept your help… Master.”

Obi-Wan grinned at him with a mischievous twinkle in his eye and then turned to Luke. “Do you think it is too late to convince Master Yoda to do this instead?”

* * *

  
  


It had been two months since Exogol. Two months since she almost lost Ben, but now he had been gone so long it felt as if she had anyway. She had tried to commune with him through the force, but though she felt him, and the bond binding them together, it didn’t truly form.

She walked out of the refresher in her small cabin on one of the Resistance’s new warships. They had been systematically trying to conquer the last of the First Order’s territory. With each battle they managed to recruit more deserters than the time before, and Rey was hopeful that they would continue to do so. She looked out into the stars and pressed more water out of her hair. The drops travelled down her throat and were caught by the towel wrapped around her.

“Am I interrupting?”

Rey spun to look at the vision of Ben and she could feel a bright smile appear on her face. It figured that it would be at a time like that he would finally manifest, but she had no reason to think he had any more control over it than she did. He was a little leaner than when she saw him last, dressed in dark smugglers clothes. He looked so much like his father with the exception being the beard he had grown. A broad smile appeared as he watched her and she still thought it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

“Ben…” Her smile was so bright she felt herself almost giggle. “I was beginning to worry.”

“I’m sorry.” There was true remorse in his eyes and she realised it was the first time she has ever heard him apologise. “It took time for me to gather my strength. I tried to reach you sooner, but I confess I am still not certain how to do it at will.”

“It’s alright. I’m just happy to see you.” She took a step towards him and carefully reached for his cheek. Through their forcebond her thumb ran over his beard, and he looked away with a shy expression.

“Aah, yes, I… I can remove it if--”

“No. I like it.” She turned her hand and caressed the beard with the backs of her fingers. “It looks distinguished.”

“It’s not foolproof by any means, but it does make it easier for me to hide. That and I’m presumed dead. Your doing, I suspect.”

“I wanted to give you as much of a headstart as I could.”

He smiled and let his hand brush her hair. She could almost feel his warmth and she closed her eyes trying to feel him. Tears fell unbidden from her eyes.

“I know. I wish I could feel your touch too,” he murmured. “At least we are never truly parted.”

She dried her eyes and smiled up at him. “Where are you?”

“If I tell you, will you follow me?” There was some mirth in his voice she had never heard before and it warmed her like thousand suns.

“Maybe,” she teased biting her lip.

“Then I won’t tell you.” He leaned forward as if he was about to press his nose against hers.

She crossed her arms and leaned back a little. “Are you always going to be this difficult?”

“So _I_ am the difficult one? I see. And here I had the impression that was you.”

The playful banter was new, and wonderful to a point she could barely contain. Kylo Ren was truly gone. There was just Ben. _Her_ Ben.

“Alright, I promise I won’t follow.”

“Thank you.” He smiled. “I’m on Rishi, in the Outer Rim. I’m trying to find whatever traces are left of Revan.”

She frowned. “Revan? Who is Revan?”

“Revan was a Jedi, who turned Sith and then back again. He was influenced by a Sith Emperor named Vitiate. I… need to know how to prevent myself from turning to the dark again. I hope that I might find something that will help.”

“I can join you. Help find the answers you seek.”

“I know, and you will, but not yet. Soon.” He smiled, but the sadness never left his eyes and she knew he felt the absence as keenly as she did. They had both felt alone and abandoned for so long. He leaned forward and her heartbeat increased - begging that she might feel his lips pressed against hers.

There is an insistent knock on the door. “Rey.”

“It’s Finn. I’m sorry, I have to go,” she murmured as she took a step back and Ben’s eyes flickered up and down her form. 

“Rey, is everything alright?” Finn’s voice sounded through the door and she could hear he was a moment from breaking it down.

“Everything is fine. I’ll be right there.”

“Alright, if you’re sure. See you in a few minutes.”

Ben looked towards the door with a somber expression. 

Rey frowned. “What’s the matter?”

“He’s in love with you.”

“Finn is just a friend.”

He gave her a small smile. “I’m not jealous. I know I have no cause or right to be.” He reached for her again, but this time she felt even less. “Perhaps it would be for the best if--”

She pointed at him. “Don’t finish that thought.”

He looked like he was about to respond when he vanished. Rey sighed longingly, but at least she got to see him again. And hopefully from then on it would be more frequent.

* * *

Ben let out a deep breath as she vanished. He had thought of Rey often enough. How it would be to hold her. Her naked body pressed against his. But fantasizing and actually getting a glimpse of it was like night and day.

“My, aren’t you flustered. Normally I’d recommend meditation, but since your need seems more immediate I suggest a cold shower.” Obi-Wan chuckled leaning against the wall as Ben glared at him.

“Did your respect for privacy vanish along with your body when you died?” He hissed in his annoyance.

“I resent that. I’m not some peeping tom. I’m here to guide you, remember?”

Oh, Ben remembered. So far the force ghost as dragged him to the ass end of nowhere. His TIE-fighter was sold and traded in for the trash heap he was currently in. An old smugglers vessel with so many secret compartments Ben was certain he hadn’t found all of them. In fact the damned thing was in need of so many repairs he hadn’t been able to get it off the ground yet. It did have the basics, though. A mess, crewquarters, a cabin for the captain, and a hangar.

And when Ben wasn’t busy repairing the many failing systems, he was searching for clues of Revan and some obscure order called ‘The Order of Revan’. It was trying his patience to say the least. ‘A lesson’ Obi-Wan told him, but all Ben could think of his how much time had passed since he had last seen Rey.

Ben walked into the Captain’s cabin and turned on the refresher - that naturally chose that moment to break. He banged his head against it, his clothes feeling tight and uncomfortable.

“Well, that’s unfortunate.” Obi-Wan looked at the broken refresher that began to burst water everywhere.

Ben reached out and crushed the pipe with the force preventing it from leaking further, but not until he is drenched, of course. He closed his eyes and attempted to clear his emotions. Between his desire, humiliation, and drenched clothes he needed to hold on to the light. So he thought of Rey. Her smile, and how she never gave up on him. For her he could do this.

“There is no need to be embarrassed. The Jedi weren’t celebate, you know. We only forebad attachment.”

“And what did that do for my grandfather?” Ben glared at Obi-Wan. “Do you expect me to detach myself from Rey?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Even if I thought it would be the wisest course of action, the bond between you is of such a nature it isn’t even possible.”

“Can you please just leave me alone? Just for a little while?”

“Alright, but I expect this mess to be fixed by morning. We have a lot to do.” His voice was way to cheerful as he said it, but he did leave as promised.

Ben let out a sigh and pulled off the wet clothes before throwing himself on the bed. Even for a Captain’s cabin it was small. But it did have it’s own - broken - refresher, a dresser a double bed and a slim window. He laid naked on the bed and looked up into the ceiling. The water that drenched him did not cool his desire - quite the opposite. It conjured images of him being in a shower with her as his hands would travel down her form. He turned in frustration. In truth he wanted to give himself some relief after having desired her for so long, but he had never acted on it. Their forcebond creating a connection, while he was pleasuring himself to thoughts of her, was not a humiliation he was willing to risk. He attempted so sleep and ignore it, but he had no such luck. The adrenalin pulsated through him making every muscle jitter with an anticipation that he could find no relief for. As he took himself in hand and began to pleasure himself, he forced his thoughts towards the women he had in the past. When Snoke had encouraged him to indulge in every passion. Lust had certainly been a popular once at first. Ben had felt so alone, abandoned by everyone he had ever loved. But the closeness had been an empty one. He had never thought that loneliness would ever be banished - until he met Rey. At the pressure building in his body, his breath grew ragged and he could no longer deny what fueled it. His groin tightened as his back arched and the name slipped from his lips. “Rey.”

As soon as he spilled himself in his hand, he sat up and looked around mortified - hoping she hadn’t manifested without him realising it. To his relief she hadn’t. And after cleaning himself he finally managed to drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched TROS last week and I'm still not okay, so, I'm writing this as a way to make myself feel better XD
> 
> This it mostly set in the cannon universe, but I will be relying on some tales of the Old Republic for Ben Solo's character development.
> 
> I am not yet sure how long this tale will be, so if you enjoy it and want me to continue it, please let me know in the comments.


	2. Chapter 2

It was early morning when Ben looked up into one of the engines and contemplated how he was  _ ever  _ going to make the damned thing work again. He was covered in engine grease, hadn’t bathed because the damned refresher broke,  _ and  _ he was running low on supplies. In his frustration he threw the spanner, he had been using, into the toolkit with full force. 

“Now what did that spanner ever do to you?” Obi-Wan looked at him with a raised eyebrow and Ben glared back.

“I’m not in the mood.”

“Oh, I would have to disagree. Seems you are  _ always  _ in a mood.” Obi-Wan chuckled pushing Ben’s anger. He closed his eyes and attempted to banish his rage. When he opened his eyes again Obi-Wan was gone.

Ben looked over the warm Rishi waters and attempted to take in the beauty of it. The black sand that covered the beaches and lush jungles could be seen on every island. At least if he ran out of supplies, water and food wouldn’t be difficult to find - assuming he didn’t run into anything that wanted to eat him. Without a lightsaber his only weapon was a blaster that had already proved less than reliable, when he was escaping a bounty hunter who thought he was acting suspicious.

Ben then saw some humanoids walking towards him on the beach below. An avian species from the look of them. He got to his feet as they approached, and though he was hesitant he sensed no hostility from them. They were covered in brown feathers, but the ones around their face and beak were distinct in each of them. Dressed in tribal wear made from the jungle ferns, bones and branches they didn’t look evolved by galactic standards.

“Greetings to you!” The leader said as the three of them approached. “We saw your ship crash last night and wondered if we might be of some assistance?”

“That’s very kind, but I don’t know how much help you can offer. I thought I had repaired enough systems to get this thing airborne again.” He scowled at his ship. “I was wrong.”

The leader stepped up and pointed to the engine. Ben nodded and dried the grease of his hands with a rag as the avian studied it.

“That does look bad. It might have been easier to simply build a new ship from scrap metal.”

“You don’t say.” Ben was convinced that somewhere Obi-Wan was laughing at him. From Luke’s descriptions of him Ben hadn’t expected the old Jedi Master to be quite so… snarky.

“I’m afraid we are not that adept with technology, but a lot of ships have crashed in the jungle. Show us what you need and we can help you find it.”

“That is very kind, but I have no way of repaying you.”

“No, need. Each Rishii does as he or she wishes. Those who agree to help will likely expect no reward.”

“Then I owe you my thanks. I’m Ben.” He put his hand forward towards the avian and for moment tried to recall when he had last given anyone a civil greeting. Rey was the last person he had offered his hand, but that had been… different.

The Rishii turned his head to the side. “Oh! That’s how you greet each other. My name is Aaktoo. Am I doing this right?”

Aaktoo shook his hand vigorously and Ben couldn’t help but chuckle as he nodded.

“I will find out what parts I need.”

“Wonderful. I will give them to our hunters so they might find them for you.” Ben was about to object, but Aaktoo held up his feathered hand. “They’ll move much faster through the jungles than you.”

“I’m grateful.” Ben smiled as he started looking at the engine.

“Oh, we brought food and water as well. We didn’t know if you had supplies?”

Aaktoo turned his bird heard as if he was studying him. There was no judgement only curiosity. Ben felt himself taken aback and had to gather his thoughts. “Thank you. This really is too much, but I could use them. You can leave them there or on the ship.”

“On the ship it is!” Aaktoo sounded cheerful as he turned and chirped at his fellow Rishii.

Obi-wan’s voice echoed in Ben’s mind, but his Master did not show himself.  _ “You have been in the darkness, too long. You have forgotten what generosity and small acts of kindness can mean to another. Forgotten that even a man with a past as yours deserve it. They will remind you.”  _

After finding all the parts he needed the Rishii took to the forest. With their ability to fly Ben concluded he would indeed have slowed them down. He walked into the ship and grabbed a piece of fruit they had brought. So much kindness towards a stranger, not thinking about what kind of person they might be aiding.

* * *

Rey was sitting in her room meditation when Ben appeared before her. He was sitting on his knees in front of her and it was reminiscent of when they had first discovered their bond. She asked him about his travels and the knowledge he had been seeking so desperately.

There was a heaviness in Ben’s voice as he spoke. “I need to find the answers.”

“Why? I want to understand why this is so important to you.”

“Because, I have disappointed everyone. My parents. Luke. Snoke.” He looked at her for a moment. “You.”

“You haven’t disappointed me, Ben.”

“After I killed Snoke and we killed his guards, you looked at me. The moment I asked you to join me and you asked me to come with you... I disappointed you. When I close my eyes I see your tears and regret. I never want to see that again. I  _ need  _ to do this.”

“I disappointed you too.”

“You broke my heart.” As he said it Ben looked at her with that raw hurt and vulnerability that had dominated him since their forcebond was brought to light. There was anger in his voice, but he then closed his eyes for a moment. “And I broke yours.”

“That’s in the past.” She shook her head. “You don’t have to think about that now.” 

“Yes, I do. I need to remember it, so that I won’t lose sight of what’s important.”

Rey swallowed feeling her heart ache. “Ben, if you’d rather we stay apart--”

“No, that’s not it! ” He reached for her hand and tried to calm himself speaking more softly. “You know it isn’t.”

She gave him a small smile and looked down at her hand in his.

“How are you doing?” Ben asked.

“Other than worried about you?” Her smile broadened and he gave a low chuckle.

“Other than that.”

“I think I’m alright. Everything that happened still seems so surreal, and I think maybe I need closure?”

“Take your time. Everything you thought you knew has been turned upside down. And I might be far away, but I’m here for you.”

Rey smiled as she looked up at him. That support and almost nurturing quality had been what he had shown her during her time on Ahch-to. It was what convinced her that there was still good in him and, what more than anything, made her feelings for him grow.

“I know. I’m here for you, too.”

Ben smiled and looked down at his hand holding hers as his thumb caressed her knuckles. Rey tried to distract herself from the effect it had on her.

“I think I might go to Tatooine. Get some distance to all of it. And put Luke and Leia to rest,” said Rey, trying to keep her voice steady knowing how it might make Ben feel.

“If you think that will help you... Have you seen her? My mother?”

“Not since we defeated Palpatine.” She felt the disappointment in him instantly, but also the shame. “When I see her I’ll tell her--”

“Thank you,” Ben interrupted as if he couldn’t bear to hear the rest of it. “I have to go.”

“Bye,” Rey muttered to herself as Ben vanished in front of her. She hadn’t expected it to be easy - truthfully, she hadn’t expected it at all - but her relationship with Ben still felt vulnerable even after everything they had been through. Rationally, she knew he needed time to mourn what he had lost, just as she did. There was no fixed method of dealing with grief and Ben had to rediscover himself. Rey just wished he could do it at her side.

* * *

Dawn was approaching on Rishii once more as Ben was repairing his ship. Aaktoo had remained with him all night long and helped him in the capacity he could.

Ben wiped the grease and sweat from his forehead with his sleeve as he installed the last part. “I can’t thank you enough. I wish I could repay you somehow.”

“We require no payment, but if it is your wish to do so, you may.”

Ben felt shame wash over him. “I have nothing to offer you.”

“What about stories? You can join us for the first meal. There are many in the village who appreciate stories.”

“Agreed.”

In truth Ben had few stories he was willing to share, but these people had offered him more kindness than what he had received in what seemed like a lifetime. When he had installed the last part Ben followed Aaktoo to his village.

“Your people are very accepting of outsiders.” Ben said as they walked along the beach and the village appeared.

“We value choice. Each Rishii can do as they choose.”

“And what if they do something terrible? Harm someone?”

“Then that is that Rishii’s choice, though others may choose to punish them for it.”

A chuckle escaped Ben. “That sounds both liberating and confusing.”

“Perhaps you can tell me of your choices when we reach the village.”

And despite himself, that was what Ben did. He spoke of how he had felt betrayed by Luke and how it fueled his rage to commit unspeakable crimes. For their kindness the Rishii deserved to know the truth of who they had been helping, even if his choice to tell them might not have been entirely wise. But where he expected disgust and judgement, they merely listened.  _ “It was your choice,” _ Obi-wan said in Ben’s mind.  _ “It was the wrong one, but you had a right to choose it.” _ Ben wondered if Obi-Wan had intended for him to meet these people as his story ended and the people gathered around the fire watched him.

“Those were all difficult choices. Thank you for sharing your story.” Aaktoo smiled and filled Ben’s cup of water.

“What happened to the girl?” A younger Rishii asked looking intently at Ben.

“She is somewhere on the other side of the galaxy, trying to help people.”

“When will you see her again?”

“I don’t know,” Ben said. “Soon I hope.”

Aaktoo poked him with his feathered finger. “It is your choice to find her.”

“I know. I should get back and make the final repairs.” Ben got up and brushed off his clothes.

“We will come and see you off when the time comes.”

As Ben walked back to his ship he sensed a disturbance in the force coming from inside the jungle - drawing him like a moth to a flame.

Rey looked out over the Tatooine desert and sat in the sand with BB-8 next to her. She watched the suns set near where she had buried Luke and Leia’s lightsabers. She could feel the air getting colder, but right then she enjoyed how peaceful it was.

“You know, I always regretted Luke and I not growing up here together.” Leia’s force ghost sat down next to her and watched the suns.

“Master.” Rey smiled as Leia took her hand.

“I understand why we had to be separated, of course, and I had no complaints growing up. But still... I used to dream of my mother when I was a girl.”

“I used to dream of my parents, too. What was she like? Your mother?”

Leia hummed for a moment. “It’s difficult to say as I never truly knew her, but clever, determined, brave, but sad, too.”

The where both quiet for a bit until Rey broke the silence.

“There is something I’m wondering. I was hoping maybe you had the answer?”

“I’ll answer if I can.”

Rey paused for a moment. “My father… I don’t understand why Palpatine needed me, when he had my father. Why not simply use him?”

“Because your father wasn’t force sensitive. It skipped his generation - much to Palpatine's dismay. When he recruited my father he had wanted to use Anakin Skywalker, the war hero and honoured general, as a symbol for the empire to follow. But when his duel with Kenobi left him so mutilated, Palpatine reinvented him into the Darth Vader we knew... to spread fear.”

“And my father?”

“Your father was supposed to take that role as diplomat. Palpatine was a deadly sith, but it was his diplomatic skills and charm that truly brought the Jedi and Republic to their knees. Vader’s appearance made people so wary of him he could never accomplish that. So, Palpatine fathered a son, only to find he wasn’t force sensitive.” Leai squeezed Rey’s hand a little tighter to offer some comfort.

“And he cast my father aside… until I was born and Palpatine sensed the force in me.”

“Exactly,” Leia said, looking back towards the horizon with a smile on her face. “I’m very proud of you, Rey. You went beyond what anyone could expect of you.”

“So did Ben.” Rey looked closely at Leia for any expression that would reveal her feelings. “Why haven’t you shown yourself to him? Told him you’re proud of him and love him? I know he wants to see you.”

Leia turned her head to Rey with a sad smile. “I have wanted to. Many times. But Ben needs to come to terms with himself and find his way. I would only confuse and distract him. Besides, he has you now.”

“He could have us both.”

“But you remind him of a future and everything he has to gain. I’ll only remind him of his past and everything he’s lost.”

BB-8 started beeping and held out a communicator. Leia vanished as Rey activated it.

“Rey, where you at?” Poe’s voice sounded over the comm.

“I was about to head back to Mos Ila. Anything wrong?”

“Well, if by ‘wrong’ you mean I haven’t been able to get a single recruit for the resistance, you’re right. And Chewie is still having some engine trouble with the Falcon. I was hoping you would come back and take a look.”

“I’ll head back right away.”

“Thanks. I’ll order some food at the cantina. Finn is starting to look like he might eat Rose or ,stars forbid, Maz if doesn’t get anything to eat soon.”

Rey grinned as she turned off the comm and headed towards the speeder.

* * *

Ben walked through the thick jungle as the force called for him. He felt the resonance of death and battle. Faint, distant, but still present somehow.

“You need to find sustenance from within. Independent of outside forces and direct results.”

He turned to look for the female voice behind him, but he saw noone.  _ Felt  _ noone.

“This place is strong with the force. Shall we see what was left behind?”

Ben turned again to see Obi-Wan lead the way through the jungle.

“Did you hear that?”

“Yes, I heard her, but there are things here far more interesting. Though, there is wisdom to her words, I admit.” Obi-Wan motioned for Ben to follow. “This way.”

Ben felt the force intensify as he followed. When his Master stopped Ben closed his eyes and reached out with the force. He turned around himself until he felt it - a charge humming like a beacon. A raw undisputable power, but controlled and somehow... peaceful. He felt it pull from beneath the soil and he strengthened his focus. Through the ground he dragged an old lightsaber that flew into his hand. Ben opened his eyes and looked at it. It was old, ancient really. Parts had rusted away and it was covered in dirt and grime.

“Did you know that originally the lightsaber crystals choose their Masters and not the other way around?” Obi-Wan sat down on a rock, his ghostly figure looking at him.

“No… Luke gave us ours. Old sabers from fallen Jedi to honour their memory.”

“Sentiment. Understandable, but it doesn’t allow for the force to do as it intended. Yet here we are. You crash in the middle of nowhere, where a saber, that has been long forgotten and laid dormant for thousands of years, just happens to choose you.” Obi-Wan smiled. “Curious isn’t it?”

Ben looked down at the saber again to see if there were any symbols that could reveal its nature and origins. 

As he studied the saber and gave a discouraged huff. “It’s beyond repair.”

“But the crystal is intact.”

Ben opened the casing and the saber fell from his hand as if it was on fire. The red crystal rolled across the ground and he felt fear embrace his heart.

“I can’t wield that crystal,” said Ben, trying to ignore the tremble inside him. “It is powered by the dark side.”

“Are you just going to stare at it? Reach out with the force as before. Tell me what you sense.”

Ben looked at Obi-Wan as he hesitated, but eventually gave into his curiosity. He once again closed his eyes and reached out towards the crystal. “It belonged to a Sith lord. A powerful one. She lost this weapon during a battle here... She was furious.”

Obi-Wan chuckled. “Well, she had just lost her lightsaber.”

“No, it was more than that. It was important to her. One of her officers gave it to her. It was a gift… an apology for betraying her.”

“Are you saying a Sith spared an officer who betrayed her?”

Ben opened his eyes and looked at his Master. “She… she forgave him. She was sith, but she spared his life. Didn’t even torture him.”

“Interesting. What else do feel?”

Ben reached out again until he heard a voice unfamiliar to him. “I hear… a voice, but it’s not her. It’s a man.”

“The Imperial officer.” Obi-Wan nodded. “What does the voice tell you?”

The male voice had a heavy imperial accent and Ben repeated his words out loud as he heard them. “Unlike other Sith, she abandoned the dark cruelties of her order to root out the Empire’s corruption. Even the Dark Council members feared her. Perhaps she will once more show mercy to those who deserve it the least.”

“Good,” Obi-Wan encouraged. “And what  _ don’t  _ you feel when you hold that lightsaber?”

“Conflict…” Ben’s eyes flew open and he looked at his Master. “There was no conflict in her. She was fueled by the dark side and tempered by the light, but there was no conflict.”

“Exactly, and that is your goal, is it not? To be without conflict.”

“This is why you wanted me to find this saber.”

“Partly true. Now, where our Sith friend here found balance Revan was much more like you. He is what you could have become.”

“Which is?”

“Revan was so conflicted his spirit was ripped in two. The dark and the light could not exist together and it unleashed the full wrath of Emperor Vitiate upon the galaxy.”

“But I destroyed Snoke. Helped Rey defeat Palpatine.” Ben attempted to keep his voice steady, but he knew some of his fear must have been obvious even so.

“Which is why you’re still standing here. Now, bring the lightsaber and let us get back to the ship.” Obi-wan picked up the crystal and held it forward. “This weapon will be your life. You need this crystal, so you must cleanse it.”

“Cleanse it?”

“You are in the process of cleansing yourself. I can see no better task on that path than to cleanse a crystal of the corruption you seek to remove from yourself.” Obi-Wan smiled as he placed the crystal in Ben’s hand and walked back towards the ship… while humming.

* * *

“ _ Rey _ .”

Her eyes flew open as she heard the faint whisper. “Ben?”

She looked around the cabin of the Falcon, where she had been napping, but she saw no sign of him. She heard him call her name again.

“I’m here.”

“ _ Rey, come find me. _ ”

Rey spun around the cabin trying to locate where it came from - hoping she would see him. “Where are you?”

“ _ Nal Hutta... I’m waiting. _ ”

“Chewie!” Rey called towards the cockpit. “I’m going to see the others. I’ll be back soon.”

She heard Chewbacca yowl in acknowledgement before she hurried off the ship and rushed towards the cantina, where the others were having drinks. When she got there Poe, Finn, Rose and Maz were sitting in a booth, while BB-8 was rolling towards the bar - to get drinks for them most likely.

“Rey, is something wrong?” Finn asked as soon as she sat down.

“I’m fine. I just came to tell you I’m taking a transport out of here first thing in the morning.” 

Poe’s scratched the back of his head. “Okay, why?”

“The force is guiding me, and I must follow it.”

“Wait,” said Rose. “Where are you going?”

“Nal Hutta.”

“Hutta? That’s deep inside Hutt space,” Maz frowned. “Though, I suppose, technically, there are Hutts here too.”

Finn took a big gulp of his drink and then slammed it into the table. “Nope.”

“Finn.” Rey gave him a small smile reaching for his hand over the table.

“No, you’re not going. There is still so much we need to do for the resistance.”

“I know, but that is not the path I am meant to follow. I  _ need _ to do this.” Rey got up from her seat. “I’ll see all of you in the morning before I leave.”

Finn watched as Rey walked out of the cantina balling his hand, that was now covered in most of his drink, into a fist.

“Finn, it’s best to let her go. When has the force ever been wrong about her before?” Rose placed her and on top of his with a small smile.

“Kylo Ren,” Finn sneered. “How many times did that son of a Hutt try to kill her?”

“Hey!” Poe pointed at him. “Have some respect for Leia… or it is Han? Wait… How do Hutts procreate anyway?”

“Hutt’s merely decide to have a child and there is only one parent.” Maz smiled resting her arms on the table as BB-8 arrived with the drinks. “As for Rey, let her go. Kylo Ren was turned back to the light before he died, and while you might not have noticed it, it has affected Rey as well. She needs closure.”

“But isn’t that why we came here?” Said Rose, as she took the pitcher from BB-8 and filled her cup.

Maz nodded. “For Luke and Leia, yes. But she is still very new to the force, despite her great accomplishments.”

“And that’s why I’m going with her.” Finn got up from the booth and put on his jacket.

Poe reached for Finn’s arm. “Buddy, she needs to do this alone. There is no way she will let you come.”

Finn leaned one hand on the table, while his other pointed at them. “There is no way I’m letting her go alone. I’ll follow her without her knowing if I have to. There is something dangerous waiting for her. I  _ know  _ it.”

“And how could you possibly know that?” Poe shook his head taking another gulp of his cup only to find it empty.

“Instinct.”

“Instinct?” Rose raised her eyebrow at him.

“That’s right.” Finn stood up straight and puffed his chest forward.

“Very well,  _ ‘Instinct’ _ . I’ll come with you,” Maz said, as she got up from the booth and began to scoot around it forcing Rose to do the same.

“I’ll come too.” Rose looked at Finn shaking her head. “At least this way I can keep you from making a complete idiot out of yourself.”

Poe threw himself back into the booth. “That’s just  _ great _ ! I come to Tatooine to recruit people for the resistance and instead I lose four. At least Chewie and BB-8 is staying with me, right little buddy?” He looked down at the droid who gave a series of happy beeps.

Maz clapped his shoulder. “It will only be until we have calmed Finn’s ‘instincts’, then we will be back. You won’t even notice we were gone.”

Poe turned his head as they walked out of the cantina. “I don’t know about that. You’re unforgettable, Maz.”

Finn hurried his steps out of the cantina. He was getting tired of Rey always running off on her own, where he couldn’t follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for commenting and leaving kudos!
> 
> So, the sith lightsaber Ben found belonged to the one who became the Emperor's Wrath after Lord Scourge betrayed his Master. The Emperor's Wrath can be either a woman or a man and can be either dark or light side. I used this particular incarceration because I needed a Sith who would resonate with Ben - without altering already established characters within the universe. This is likely the only such character I will add to the story, but time will tell.
> 
> If there is anything you feel is missing or things you would like to see other fanfictions haven't done, please let me know in the comment section and I will try to include it in future updates.


	3. Chapter 3

Ben sat on the floor in the middle of the ship. His eyes were closed as the red kyber crystal rested in his hands. The force ghost of Obi-Wan walked around him in a slow pace holding one hand on his elbow, while the other rubbed his beard.

Ben recited the Jedi code as he attempted to meditate. “There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force.”

He opened his eyes and looked down at the crystal still humming with dark side energy. He let out a deep frustrated breath.

“Again,” said Obi-Wan, not looking at him.

“I have repeated it twelve times.”

“But you still don’t understand it. I know you can do this, Ben. Somewhere inside you lies the answer.” Obi-wan crouched down and put a hand on his shoulder. “Try the first version you learned. The one we used to teach younglings.”

“Forget it.”

Obi-Wan raised and eyebrow as he got up. “Do it.”

Ben took a deep breath and closed his eyes again.

“Good. Now, don’t focus on the task. Focus on the words and let the experiences of those words flow through you. You can feel them, but don’t hold on to them.”

“Emotion,” Ben began and followed his Master’s instructions. He focused on the word until an image formed. He saw his father, first as he cut him down, then again on the wreck of the Death Star. The fury burning in him. He felt himself tremble and moved to the next part. “Yet peace.”

Ben felt his father’s hand on his cheek - peaceful and caring as he died. He saw himself throwing his old saber into the waters alongside his fury.

“That’s it,” Obi-Wan encouraged him.

“Ignorance.” The memory of Snoke manipulating him went through his mind, yet so did how easily he had turned from Palpatine. “Yet knowledge."

“Passion.” Ben pictured Rey’s face, and felt his heartbeat increase, but at a steady pace. “Yet serenity.”

“Chaos.” The raw power inside him ignited, but he began to mold it and feel it focused around his hands. “Yet harmony.”

“Death.” His mother’s face flashed through his mind, but he then heard her voice  _ “I’m so proud of you, Ben. I always knew you would find your way back to the light” _ . Ben smiled as he spoke the last sentence. “Yet the Force.”

“Ben,” said Obi-Wan. “Open your eyes.”

Ben did as his Master asked and looked down at the crystal in his hands. Where it had an angry red glow a minute before it was now a pure shade of white. He held it up to the light and studied its beauty.

“It’s at peace. There is no light or dark, there is only--”

“The force.” Obi-Wan nodded with a smile. “Sith kyber crystals are synthetic, shaped from the will of the person forging it, but it is part of the force as all things are. The white colour depicts your individuality in the force. I know only one other Jedi, who was successful in doing so.”

Ben looked up at his Master and felt his eyes water though he held them back. He had done it. He had taken the first step into purifying himself, and the crystal had trusted him as Rey had.

“I don’t--”

An alarm sounded in the cockpit and Ben jumped to his feet. He ran into the cockpit and tried to assess the situation. Microfractures were tearing the ship apart, and Ben was forced to take it out of hyperspace.

“Oh, this is wonderful.” Obi-Wan’s voice was dripping with sarcasm as he pointed to the meteors approaching them. “Didn’t you check the sensors before you left hyperspace?”

Ben flipped switches, diverting as much power as he could to the maneuvering thrusters. “It wouldn’t have mattered. It was either that or being ripped to shreds in the middle of a hyperjump.”

He steered around the meteors, most of his turns too close for comfort. The hairs on his arms stood on edge, and he held his breathing at each maneuver. 

Ben felt the pilot seat shake as Obi-Wan grabbed a hold of it. “This is why I hate flying!”

“Why are you complaining?” Ben asked, making another close turn. “You’re already dead.”

“Look out!” He let out a breath sitting in the co-pilot’s seat. “And I might be dead, but I can still worry about you.”

“I’m touched,” said Ben, sarcasm flowing through his gritted teeth. “Do I need to remind you, that you choose this glorified garbage droid?”

“And instead you picked up an actual trashed droid.”

Ben steered around the asteroid at the last possible moment. “It might contain data we need from that factory.”

“Perhaps you should have paid more attention to repairing the ship than the droid, my padawan.”

Ben made the last turn. “There. We’re safe for the moment.”

“I’m glad to see you inherited your grandfather’s piloting skills. He was as reckless as you.”

“I thought I got them from my father.” Ben flicked a few switches to restore the systems he had taken power from. Being reminded of how he was like Vader was not the comfort it once would have been. Instead it sickened him, so he focused on the task at hand instead as he put in new coordinates.

“That’s Nal Hutta. We’re supposed to be going to Nar Shaddaa.”

“Well,” said Ben, as he started going through landing protocols. “Unless you want a hull rupture in space, we’re going to Hutta.”

“Hmm… too bad you didn’t get Anakin’s humour.”

Ben scowled over at his Master. “I didn’t know that snide comments were qualities looked for in a Jedi.”

“We should have been at Nar Shaddaa hours ago.” Obi-Wan frowned ignoring his remark.

“We would have been if we didn’t travel in this old thing. The hyperdrive is ancient and barely functioning. We are lucky we made it this far at anything faster than lightspeed.”

“Let us hope the Hutts roll out the welcome mat for us, then.”

“Don’t count on it.”

* * *

  
  


Rey exited the freighter that had taken her to Nal Hutta. With all the stops along the way, and switching transport a half dozen times, it had taken more than three weeks. She looked up at the yellow sky created from pollution and then turned her gaze to her surroundings. All around her there was junk, filth and shifty people. Had it not been for the humidity it would almost have felt like Jakku. She walked through the spaceport and noted this was the first place where she hadn't needed to go through immigration.

A merchant selling water, rations and survineers - if you could call them that - caught her eye. She looked at some of the necklaces made from scrap metal, so polished she could see her own reflection. She held it up and looked in it seeing Maz, Finn and Rose following her. Rey shook her head as she walked ahead. She noticed them almost as soon as she had left Tatooine, but she hadn’t confronted them as she wanted to avoid the questions of where she was going. She was going to rent a speeder as soon as she got to the city limits. If she was fast enough they shouldn’t be able to follow her. Though she felt guilty for leaving them in the dark, she knew they would never understand her decision to trust Ben - much less her willingness to join him.

As she walked on she heard two locals talking.

“The Evocaii are just pathetic.” One grunted as he looked at an alien begging on the streets. “Why the Hutts haven’t enslaved every last one of them is beyond me.”

The other looked as his friend, wide-eyed. “That’s a bit harsh.”

“Have you  _ ever  _ spoken to one? Go ahead. Fifty credits says you end up shoving it into the gutter - and laughing.”

Rey let out an huffed chuckle of disbelief and disgust. 

“What are you doing in this place, Ben?” She muttered to herself as she began walking through the city and when she got to the outskirts Rey rented the first speeder she could find.

“We remind you that the vehicles are for business purposes  _ only _ ,” said the droid as it took her payment.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Rey looked out over the swampy landscape of Nal Hutta. There were factories everywhere and everything seemed either polluted or toxic. She closed her eyes and reached out with the force. Finding Ben on an entire planet with no idea of his whereabouts, would have seemed insane to anyone else.

She heard his voice.  _ “Rey?” _

“I’m here. Right outside Bilbousa,” she whispered.

_ “Travel east along the deserted road. Focus on me and the force will guide you.” _

Rey jumped onto the speeder and followed Ben’s instructions. Focusing on him was easy as she got more excited at the prospect of seeing him with every passing moment. After a few hours she arrived at what looked to be a deserted factory. Junk was piled everywhere and womp rats scattered as she entered the outer walls. She looked towards the main building, that seemed to have a landing pad on the roof.

“Threat: Hold it right there, meatbag!”

The droid voice came from one of the upper walkways. Rey looked up at the droid, who had a blaster pointed directly at her.

“Who are you?”

“Intimidation: I’m HK-55, bodyguard droid. Now, lower your weapon before I am forced to terminate you.”

Rey held out a hand as a peaceful gesture as she reached for her saber. There was no doubt in her mind it would attempt to kill her if given the chance.

“No wait!” She heard a familiar voice call out and looked towards the stairs on the other side of the building.

“Ben!” Rey gave him a broad smile and felt her being warm when he returned it.

Ben looked at the HK unit. “She’s a friend.”

“Concession: Very well, Master.” The droid sounded downright disappointed as it lowered its weapon and disappeared from view.

Ben walked down the stairs. “I hope he didn’t--” 

He was interrupted as Rey threw herself into his arms. She felt him chuckle as he held her close.

“It’s so good to see you,” she murmured when she pulled away.

Ben gave her another embrace. “You have no idea how many nights I’ve lain awake imagining this.”

“Two-hundred-and-nine,” she answered without missing a beat and he chuckled.

“Apologetic: Excuse me, Master,” said HK from the roof, “but according to th scanners there are bounty hunters headed this way. I recommend we vacate the premisses.”

Ben looked up at the droid and nodded. He then took Rey’s hand and lead her up the stairs and walkways leading to the factory roof, where a small ship was waiting.

Rey looked over her shoulder, but couldn’t see anyone approach yet. “Are they after you?”

“Probably. Though, I have no idea how they found me.”

“Do they know who you are?”

“Someone has issued a bounty for someone matching my description, though it is very vague.”

“So, what? They shoot first and ask questions later?”

“That’s the gist of it.”

They were halfway up, when they heard a cry. “Rey!”

She turned to look down at Finn, Rose and Maz. Ben gave her a questioning look, but Rey shook her head. “How did they manage to follow me out here?”

“What are you doing with him?” Finn cried pointing at Ben. “You told us he was  _ dead _ !”

Rose put a hand on his shoulder, but he pushed it off as he reached for his blaster.

Rey stood in front of Ben, trying to shield him even as he towered her, and looked at Finn. “Kylo Ren  _ is  _ dead. He turned from the dark side and saved me.”

Maz adjusted her goggles and smiled. “Incredible.”

“Nope. No. No!  _ Hell  _ no!” Finn shook his head. “He is deceiving you, can’t you see that? He is going to kill you as soon as you turn your back on him. It’s what. He. Does.”

Ben looked at Finn with a serious expression. “I wouldn’t hurt her.” 

“Riiiiight. Yeah, sure. It’s not like you have tried before.” Finn gave a bitter laugh. “If you don’t want to kill him ,Rey, fine. I’ll trust you. But give this up and come back with us. Back to the resistance where you belong. I can help you find your family--”

“Finn, I already did. Ben  _ is _ my family.” She looked back over her shoulder at Ben.

Ben looked at her intently for a moment before turning his attention back to Finn. While Rose made Finn lower his blaster, Maz placed a hand on his other arm. “He would not be the first to return from the dark side. Rey would never go to these lengths if she didn’t know for certain. Though…” Maz scowled up at her. “She does owe us an explanation.”

“Is it true?” Asked Rose as she stepped forward and looked directly at Ben with a narrowed gaze. “ _ Have _ you changed?”

They heard a single shot coming from the roof and all looked up at the HK unit.

“Suggestion: If the meatbag bickering would stop, we could take off before we are surrounded by the numerous bounty hunters still headed in our direction.” The droid sounded exasperated as he looked down at them from the roof.

“Fine! But I’m coming with you!” Finn insisted and forced himself up the stairs past Rey and Ben.

“Since you brought bounty hunters here, that is probably our only option.” Ben shook his head in annoyance and walked after Finn.

Maz hugged Rey. “I’m sorry about all of this, but once we’re on the ship we’re going to talk about this.”

“Agreed.” Rey smiled and then looked down at Rose who was staring at the speeders parked in the distance. “Are you coming?”

Rose sighed and walked up the walkway. “We’re not going to get out security deposits back.”

Rey saw the bounty hunters appear down the road and ran up and into the ship. She quickly took a look around the old ship and noted that a bunch of panels were still open for repair, then ran to the cockpit, where Maz moved so Rey could sit in the co-pilot seat next to Ben.

Rose entered the cockpit. “They are coming up the stairs.”

“On it!” Finn called from a chute below sitting in the gunners seat. A loud explosion sounded and he cheered. “They won’t be getting up those stairs.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Most of them have jetpacks.” 

Maz looked at the panels behind them. “Where did you find this antique? I haven’t seen this model for at least five-hundred years.”

“Long story,” said Ben as he began the startup sequence. He then turned on the comm. “HK, I need additional power to the forward thrusters.”

The comm was full of static. “Urgency: At once Master, but I’m having some trouble with re-connecting the cables in the engine room.”

Rey looked at Rose, who nodded. “I’ll help him.”

When blaster fire sounded on the hull Ben and Rey looked at each other.

Ben pulled the lever to the thrusters. “I’m going to begin takeoff.”

Rey looked at him with wide eyes. “Is that even possible? We only have the starboard thrusters.”

“I’ll give you that answer after we get off this planet. You have the helm.”

Rey started the ship and began the takeoff as Maz stared at them. “You two have moxy.”

As the ship took off it took a nosedive towards the ground. Ben closed his eyes and held his hands forward as Rey did everything she could to steer the ship.

Finn’s panicked voice could be heard from below. “What are you guys doing?!”

“It’s now or never, Rose,” Maz said over the comm.

Rey looked at Ben for a moment as she felt the intensity of the force run through him. At the last possible moment he manage to level the ship.

“Go!” Rose cried over the comm and Rey activated all thrusters to take them out of the atmosphere.

Ben looked at her as he released a deep breath and they both grinned.

“Did we make it?” Rose asked as she and HK reentered the cockpit.

“Only because we have Jedi with us.” Maz narrowed her gaze at Ben. “Or maybe it’s because we have a Solo at the helm.”

Ben’s expression got uncomfortable as he turned his attention back to the controls. HK looked down into the chute leading to the gunnery station. “Consolation: You may now return to the cockpit, meatbag. Everything is safe.”

“Could you sound anymore condescending?” Finn grunted as he crawled up the chute.

“Patronizing: I would never dream of mocking someone with such  _ great  _ observation skills.” 

The droid left the cockpit and Finn looked up Rey from the edge of the chute. “That droid is an asshole. Where did you find it, Kylo? Or did you hold interviews to find the most evil one?”

Rey glared at Finn. “His name is Ben. I told you Kylo Ren is gone.”

Finn grunted and rolled his eyes as he crawled up the rest of the way.

“I found it on an old factory that used to belong to Revan.” Ben laid in a few course corrections, not looking at Finn as he answered. “I reassembled one of the droids there hoping it could give me some information, but this one had never been activated. I thought he would be useful, so I brought him along.”

“How old is he?” Rey asked with a smile

“His parts were manufactured before the fall of the old Empire.”

Maz looked at Ben with disbelief. “That was almost five-thousand years ago.”

“Give or take a few centuries,” Ben said flipping a few switches, and Rey couldn’t help but notice it merely seemed to be to keep himself occupied.

“Activating him must have been difficult.” Rey smiled at him.

“I have had to repair him constantly, not unlike this ship, but I have a feeling your unique touch will make him more stable than ever.” Ben smiled back at her and Rey felt herself blush as she looked at the controls. Finn stepped in between the seats and leaned on the co-pilot chair.

Ben turned his attention to the helm and engaged the autopilot. “Will one of you keep an eye on the hyperdrive? It has a tendency to disengage at random, when set to autopilot.”

“We’ll do it,” Finn sneered nearly pushing Ben out of the seat as he got up.

Rey then got up and looked at Ben. “I can have a look at it if you like?”

“I’d appreciate it,” he said without turning. “I’ll go make some more bunks ready.”

“Rose, would you?” Rey pointed to her empty chair and walked past Rose.

Rey followed Ben towards the back of the ship where the crew quarters were located. There were two cabins. A captain’s cabin that contained a double bed and crew quarters that had four bunk beds built into the walls. Ben crouched down in front of a crate and pulled out some blankets.

“I’m sorry about them.” Rey leaned against the bunk beds and embraced herself, looking at the floor in embracement. “I thought I could shake them off at the capital. I should have known better, but I was so focused on finding you.”

“This  _ is  _ more crowded than I was expecting, but it’s fine.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and let them run down her arms. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

She smiled up at him. “I’m glad I’m here too.” 

She placed a hand on his face and leaned in to--

“This is the ship Han Solo’s son would pick.” Maz looked around the common room and Ben took a step back away from Rey. “There is something to be said for your family and hopeless causes, young man.” 

“In truth I didn’t pick it. The force…” He trailed off as Maz walked up to him and adjusted her goggles. 

“You mean your new Master.”

“Master?” Rey looked at him with the same concern Maz did.

“It’s not what you think.” He held up his hands and stared down into Rey’s eyes as if hoping to convey his sincerity. “It’s Obi-Wan. Or his force ghost. He has been the one guiding me on this journey.”

“Obi-Wan Kenobi? Ben, that’s wonderful.” Rey said, smiling at him.

Maz looked at him with a wry grin. “Well, I guess that explains the beard.”

Ben groaned rubbing his face. “There are four bunks in here and the Captain’s cabin is in the next room. You’re welcome to it.” Ben swallowed as he looked at Rey who blushed. Knowing it was probably his bed images of them sharing it came to mind.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Maz walked into the cabin and jumped on the double bed pressed against the wall with the window. “My, that’s soft. Should do wonders for these old bones. These tribal blankets are Rishi, aren’t they? Oh, and don’t think we’re done talking about this, young Solo, just because you feel like changing the subject.”

Ben looked into the ceiling in his defeat as Rey placed her belongings in one of the top bunks with a grin.

* * *

Ben sat on the floor trying to repair some of the circuitry in the lower panels, when he felt the ship go out of hyperspace. He was about to get up, when Rose sounded over the comm. “I’m sorry guys, but the engines just gave out. Good news is we should be able to fix it and we haven’t leaked fuel, but we’re stuck at impulse for the moment.”

Ben rubbed his eyes and groaned. Maz was sitting on one of the crates and chuckled at him as she was cleaning some of the components, while HK was working on the targeting array, and Rey was in the cockpit with Finn and Rose.

“You need a break. You’re pushing yourself too hard.” Maz pointed at him with the part she was holding.

“I should get this--”

“Don’t make me get off this crate, young man.”

Ben shook his head with a meager smile. “Alright.”

He got up and walked over to the mess area and sat down in the booth. The day had gone  _ nothing _ like he had planned. He had avoided the the resistance for a reason and now he was trapped with them on his disaster of a ship. What was worse, he hadn’t had a chance to speak privately with Rey - much less touch her. Ben leaned his head back against the wall and imagined their kiss on Exogol. But perhaps he was expecting too much. Hoping too much. His heart clenched in his chest at the thought of her pushing him away. Despite their feelings it wouldn’t be the first time she had turned him down. She had called him family, but that could mean any number of things. Unable to stand the dismal line of thinking he opened his eyes and reached for his new saber.

“Mind if I join you?”

He looked up and saw Rey smiling at him. Ben held out a hand for her to sit, and he could sense Maz watching them carefully. Or perhaps it was just him.

Rey pointed to the lightsaber. “Did you make it yourself?”

“Yes. I only completed it a week ago. I haven’t had the chance to try it out yet.”

“It’s beautiful craftsmanship. I created a new one too. Do you want to see it?”

“Of course.” Ben leaned forward in his seat and was grateful for the easy conversation. Things were changing between them, but this gave him hope it was in a direction he wished for. She handed him her lightsaber and he stood up. He turned on the yellow lightsaber and twirled it.

“Perfectly balanced, maneuverable, and a powerful crystal. The weapon of a true guardian.” Ben turned it off and studied the hilt. There was an inscription;  _ “Rey Skywalker” _ .

He kept looking at the saber. “Skywalker?”

“Your family is the only one I have ever known.” She gave him an uncertain gaze as he looked at her. “Does it bother you?”

“No. It will be nice to hear that name and think of someone I--” He paused for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest. “Don’t despise.”

Rey grinned and Ben felt suddenly exposed. She stood up and walked over to him with a smile that could make him crumble far too easily.

She held out her hand. “May I?”

He nodded and gave her his saber. 

She gasped as she turned it on and saw the pure white colour. “It’s beautiful.”

“Obi-Wan taught me how cleanse the crystal. It… it used to belong to a sith long ago, but the dark side corruption is gone.”

Rey looked at him for a moment then closed her eyes and focused on the saber. “I can feel her. In the crystal. It was a gift... She trusted him, depended on him... and he betrayed her.” Rey opened her eyes with a small smile. “She must have loved him very much to forgive such a thing.”

“Yes.” Ben looked down at Rey. “She must have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone fore leaving kudos and comments! How do you like the dynimac between Ben and Rey?
> 
> I have taken more of my inspiration from Obi-Wan as he was during the clone wars than in his later days. Since Ben has a tendency to brood, I thought this would create a more interesting dynamic.
> 
> HK-55 is a later model of the HK-47, who used to belong to Revan. HK-55 was designed as a bodyguard, where HK-47 was an assassin droid - though some of the personality "flaws" remain the same.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Ben sat in the engine room on top one of the cases with his new saber floating above his outstretched palm. His eyes stared intently into the open casing revealing the white crystal. While purified, it still held some the identity of the previous owner. Her emotions. Her thoughts - almost clear enough for Ben to make out. Even knowledge of her wielding of the force. Perhaps he should be more wary of it, but unlike Snoke or Palpatine he sensed no manipulation or fear. Not even the darkness in the force.

“Why did you call to me?” Ben said.

He heard the remnants of a male voice - the imperial officer’s. _“I think it's going to take your personal touch to assuage the situation.”_

“How can I? I have found some certainty, but I fear doubt will return. I think of Luke and I feel that same anger. That sense of betrayal, and I can barely contain it.”

The crystal hums again, but this time with the voice of a woman - the light leaning Sith. _“If he made you this tenacious and exacting you owe him a great debt.”_

“A debt?” Ben could hardly believe what he was hearing. All that he had done… When Luke tried to strike him down he thought no other path was left open to him. But perhaps there was value in the lessons he had learned from all that had happened. Thinking of it as a positive influence seemed… conflicting. “I don’t know if I can forgive him.”

_Her voice was almost soothing, but pained. “Trust is difficult to rebuild, but I’m willing to try.”_

Ben closed his eyes.

“Astonishing!” Obi-Wan said and Ben’s eyes flew open. “There is some patience hidden beneath that brooding, thuggish attitude of yours after all.”

Ben scowled as he grabbed the saber and closed the casing. “What do you want?”

“And I appear to have ruined it.” Obi-Wan gave a dramatic sigh. “And that is no way to speak to your master. Insolence leads to the dark side, you know.”

Obi-Wan looked at him with a humorous smirk.

“Your not as funny as you think.” Ben jumped off the crate.

“I could be only 10% as funny as I am and still be the amusing person in this room.”

Ben walked past Obi-Wan and started sorting out some of the spare parts he had gotten from the Rishii.

Obi-wan took Ben’s saber from his belt and looked at it. “So, what did you learn from the crystal?”

“Not much. It believes I can accomplish… something. But it is difficult to make out its meaning. It communicates with phrases and memories. Sometimes its replies aren’t clear, because it can’t form its own phrases - only reuse those it remembers.”

The force ghost of Obi-Wan just looked at him with a smile.

Ben frowned. “What?”

“When you manage to control your emotions, and you focus on something with that curiosity of yours, you show signs of a wisdom I never saw in Anakin or Luke.”

“Wisdom?” Ben gave him a skeptical look.

“Look at what you accomplished, as soon as you weren’t governed by your fear. Do you think anyone can communicate with old kyber crystals?”

“It’s not uncommon to sense things, when you know how to use the force.” Ben moved one of the crates turning his back to his master.

“You managed to outwit Snoke. You identified what the bond between you and Rey was, and you managed to keep it hidden from Palpatine. Not only that, but you managed to see past his deception - even when you were swayed by the dark and managed to hide your true intent.” Obi-Wan placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder and made him turn. “When you didn’t give into fear, you saw what the entire Jedi Order missed. The true strength of Palpatine’s manipulation.”

“You make it out to be more than it is.” Ben turned with a raised eyebrow. “I had heard enough stories to know not to trust him.”

“So did Anakin at the end, but he didn’t have the wisdom to tell foe from friend. You do. Why else would you have turned on Snoke? Refuse to ally with a Sith that could offer you all the power you sought? You manage to befriend a Jedi, when all your experiences taught you differently.” Obi-Wan pointed at Ben’s heart. “Because you had the wisdom to see past preconceptions.”

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose. “You give me too much credit. If I had wisdom, as you say, then I would not have chosen this path.”

“Being wise and acting wise are not always the same. Anakin’s greatest weakness was pride. He might have been governed by his fear at the end, but his pride let him believe he could overcome it - _instead_ of facing it. Snoke planted fear in you, and Luke reinforced that fear, but what no one managed was to sow that seed of pride and ambition in you. Not because you don’t have pride, but because you were too wise to give into it.”

Ben scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. “I think you’re having this conversation with the wrong forceuser.”

“No, I’m not. Rey is a talented force user. Honorable. Brave. Kind.” Obi-Wan nodded. “But she leaps into battle and acts almost solely on impulse. Relying on her wits whenever she can. You’re not a dyad because one of you is destined for the light and the other the dark. You’re a dyad because what she lacks; wisdom, patience, strategy, you have.”

Ben Picked up the parts he had originally come down for and went towards the ladder. “I still think you’re wrong.”

Obi-Wan grinned at him as he tossed the lightsaber back to him. “The truly wise never think of themselves as such.”

* * *

Rey laid on her side in her closed bunk right above Finn’s, where Rose and Ben had taken the bunks on the other side. The bunks were wide, but with a low ceiling, and a hatch that closed it off. Almost like an escape pod, but not as cramped. She was having trouble sleeping as she felt both happy and nervous ever since they arrived a few days before, but the presence of her friends - especially Finn’s - made an already complicated situation worse. She couldn’t help feeling that she should have been forthright with them, but she had her doubts about the Resistance’s treatment of Ben. At best they would find a way to imprison him. Ben had been right on Exogol, and if she needed any proof she could look to Finn for the answer.

Rey sighed and turned in frustration, when she felt their forcebond strengthen. Ben was on his side looking back at her. She smiled at him then listened for any sign of the others being awake.

“You know, you could just crawl up here instead,” she whispered.

Ben offered her a hint of a smile. “Finn would try to kill me if he saw me.”

“I’m sorry he doesn’t trust you.”

“That is hardly unexpected. I wouldn’t if our roles had been reversed.” Ben reached out and let his fingers caress along her jaw making her eyes close with a sigh. She could feel the warmth of his touch, even if it was like a distorted echo.

“So, tell me, why did you want me here?”

Rey opened her eyes and looked into his darkening expression. His hand slid down her shoulder and arm, making her skin tingle at the touch, only for it to rest at her waist. Rey reached out and let he tumb caress his lips as he was smiling. He gave it a light kiss as he kept looking at her.

She a quiet giggle escaped her. “This did not go as I planned.”

“Yeah, mine either.”

“So, what did you have planned?”

Her hand travelled down the side of his face and neck as it rested on his chest where she could feel his heartbeat.

“I asked you first,” he said with a fond smile.

“I thought you would show me your ship.”

She felt his fingers run in light circles on her waist and stomach close to her abdomen, as he gave a low hum. “Which did happen.”

“Then you would have set the ship on auto pilot and we would sit up for hours talking. Get to know each other as we were always meant to, away from battlefields and near death experiences.”

“I’d like that.” He leaned closer to her. “And after?”

“And _during_ \--” she grinned and he suppressed a low chuckle. “I would take every opportunity to show you how glad I am to be at your side. How happy I am that you’re here with me… I have been alone for so long, looking for my family, only to find it in yours. In you.”

He looked at her with those deep dark eyes entranced and focused on her. There was always so much emotion in him and she felt it pulling on her. When moments passed and he still hadn’t spoken, Rey couldn’t stand the silence.

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking about kissing you.”

Rey felt a jolt in her stomach as a smile formed on her lips. “Then why don’t you?”

“I’m trying to decide if I should give into it right now or wait for a time, when I can actually hold you in my arms.”

“Tough decision.” She giggled and Ben hushed her as he put a finger to her lips.

“I wanted to kiss you back on Snoke’s cruiser too - in the elevator. For the first time in years, I felt someone who could calm the turmoil inside me… and you looked so beautiful.”

His eyes lingered on her lips and she felt her breathing getting heavier. 

“Kiss me now,” she murmured. “Definitely now.”

He smiled right before leaning into kiss her, when an alarm went off and their connection was broken. Frustrated, Rey turned on to her back with a sneer as she rubbed her face, before pushing aside the door on her bunk. Ben had already gotten out of his bunk and was putting on his shirt. He then held Rey by her waist and helped her down.

“What is going on?” Finn snarled putting on his boot.

“Not sure,” said Rey, grabbing her toolkit she noticed Rose’s bunk was empty.

Ben looked at her. “I’ll check the cockpit if you check the engine room.”

“Got it.” She followed him out the door and they ran in opposite directions.

She jumped down the hatch leading down into the engine room. The alarm stopped and Rey peeked her head up from the hatch. Rose came out from the cockpit and looked at Ben with an unforgiving stare shoved a handful of wires into his chest.

“It was another malfunction.”

Ben looked into the cockpit. “Have you located the source?”

Rose raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes. The _alarm_ malfunctioned. The problem seems to be--”

“Warning: There appears to be a problem in the main computer. Request: I need assistance in the engine room,” HK sounded over the comm.

“-- in the main computer. I’ll go help him,” Rose said, and walked past Ben with a nasty glare.

Rey moved away from the hatch to allow Rose access to the engine room. Finn yawned as he walked into the cockpit with Ben and Rey followed. One of the panels, where the alarm used to be, was open.

Finn groaned. “I’m starting to think Kylo won’t be the one to kill us. It will either be the ship or the grumpy droid.”

Rey looked at Ben, who seemed to ignore Finn’s comment. She then scowled at Finn who mouthed ‘what?’.

“What is going on?” Maz sounded from the other room and Finn went out the cockpit door. 

Ben hit the panel closing the door to the cockpit, then opened the panel with a force pull and ripped out a single wire.

Rey’s eyes widened. “What are you--”

Ben kissed her. His hands were on her face and the tips of his fingers intertwined with her loose hair. Rey made a whimpering noise as she wrapped her arms around him and held on to the back of his shirt. His lips were pressed fiercely against hers and she couldn’t help but smile of how it reminded her of their first kiss. When Ben pulled away they both smiled as they stayed in the embrace.

Ben chuckled as he leaned his forehead against hers, then turned her head up to kiss him again.

“What’s with the door?” They heard Finn from the other side of the door and they broke the kiss.

“It looks like another malfunction,” Ben said looking over his shoulder at the panel with a half smirk. Rey had to suppress a chuckle.

“Is it serious? Rey, are you okay?” Rey could hear the worry in Finn’s voice, but as Ben kissed her under her ear and down her neck she found it less important.

She struggled to keep her voice even. “Everything is fine, Finn. Just a minor issue with the wiring. Should only take a few minutes to fix.”

“Only a few minutes?” Ben whispered against her neck, but rather than disappointment she heard an unfamiliar amusement in his voice.

Finn’s voice sounded from behind the door. “Alright, let me know when you get it open. Rose left a spanner in there she needs to fix the alarm. With this old piece of junk I don’t think missing a warning system is such a good idea.”

Ben pulled away and looked at Rey with a small smile. She held a hand on his cheek and gave him a light, but tender kiss.

“I hate to admit it, but he does have a point,” said Ben between kisses.

“I’ll better fix it then.” She sighed and looked up at him with a pout that made him close his eyes as he suppressed a chuckle. 

Rey walked over to the panel and began to put the wires back in place. She felt Ben behind her and saw his hand lean against the wall next to the panel. He looked over her shoulder and she could feel his breath next to her ear, but he didn’t try to touch her.

“Do you mind?” She said with a playful sneer keeping her eyes focused on the task.

“Mind what?”

 _“Oh, that teasing son of…”_ Rey thought with amusement. “Standing so close. It’s distracting.”

“That so?”

She turned her head and looked at him with a scowl. With a hint of a smug smile, that reminded her of his father, Ben pulled away and sat down to look at the panel Rose had opened earlier, when disconnecting the alarm.

* * *

  
  


When they dropped out of hyperspace as the ship approached a planet that looked orange from all the lights. Finn had never been to Hutt space before this, but even from a distance he could recognize it as a huge metropolis - even through the old grungy windows of Kylo Ren’s ship.

“Welcome to Nar Shaddaa,” said Maz. “Home to the worst criminals, brilliant tech-experts, and shady characters in the galaxy.”

“We should fit right in then.” Finn looked at Rey with a grin and to his relief she chuckled.

He had been fond of Rey from the moment he met her, and he had made it his priority to make sure she was always safe. It’s why he hated when she ran off. She always felt like she had to do everything on her own - which meant it was usually dangerous. He hadn’t expected her to lie about Kylo Ren, though. Much less run straight into his arms greeting him like an old friend. Didn’t she remember who this guy was?

“It’s the only place in the world that’s worse than Canto Bight,” Rose said, leaning her arms on the back of Rey’s chair.

“Are the Hutts really so terrible? Surely it can’t be the entire race.” Rey looked at Maz.

“That is a matter of perspective. The successful Hutts prioritize their enterprises above anything. For the last few decades that has been war. The Hutts live long lives and are very patient. That means while the Republic, Empire and then the First Order have been at war, they are comfortable remaining in their own system.”

“Selling weapons and tech to both sides,” Rose continued. “Waiting for us to wipe each other out and conquer whatever is left.”

“You’ll be able to catch a transport back to meet with the resistance from here,” Kylo Ren said as he transferred navigation to the co-pilot and looked at Rey. “Will you make sure we dock? I have sent the landing permits, so they should transmit a docking number shortly. I’m going to prepare the ship manifest for them.”

“Why don’t you just write ‘junk’?” Finn looked at Kylo, who gave him the same dismal expression he always had on his face.

Maz sat down in the pilot seat and looked at the planet. “If we want to avoid the incident on Hutta we have to do things to the letter. It really is beautiful from up here, not so much when we reach the surface.”

“I’m going to go pack our things.” Rose looked at Finn with a smile. “Will you help me?”

“Sure.”

Finn followed Rose out of the cockpit and the door closed automatically behind them. Finn glared at the hatch to the engine room, where the HK droid was currently staying. He had a bad feeling about that droid he couldn’t shake, but then again that was true of everything on this ship. Especially, its owner. Who was currently sitting at the booth in the mess area going over a datapanel. Rose stopped in her tracks and stared at him. It was a look Finn knew all too well.

“Don’t,” Finn said softly, but she ignored him as she began speaking to Kylo.

“How can you just sit there so calmly? You helped destroy so many lives, and you just sit there as if nothing happened.”

Kylo looked up at her with an emotionless stare Finn had always hated. It was at one time cold and filled with emotion that was repressed. That look had always felt like a ticking bomb that could go off at any given second. And though Finn knew it was impossible, he would swear he had seen it even when Kylo Ren had been wearing his mask - unless the force could do that too.

Finn placed a hand on her shoulder. “Rose, he’s not worth it.”

She took a step forward. “If you have changed, then why aren’t you helping the resistance? Why are you hiding in hutt space instead of taking responsibility for your crimes?”

Kylo kept looking at Rose without moving and gave her no answer. Rose took a few quick steps forward and slammed both hands into the table. Finn had to give it to her, Rose was probably one of the bravest people he had ever met.

“You could help us, but instead you’re hiding like a coward. My sister _died_ to protect the Resistance from The First Order. That’s what true dedication is, and if you were dedicated to changing you would know that.” Rose glared at him with tears brimming in her eyes, and at that moment Finn would wager she was every bit as terrifying at Kylo Ren. When he still didn’t answer she shook her head with a noise of disgust and began walking away.

“Your resistance have had a lot of victories lately, haven’t they?” Kylo said, still looking at her with the same gaze.

Finn glared at him. “Yeah, we have the First Order on the run.”

“How do you think all those victories were made possible? You don’t just have them on the run, you’re hitting important secret military installations, so they have no chance of rebuilding.”

Rose turned to look at Kylo. “That’s right.”

He put down the pad on the table. “Where did you think the Resistance got all that information from?”

Finn’s eyes widened. “ _You_ gave us that intel?”

“While Rey rejoined the Resistance fleet on Exogol I used my vessel to download as much data from the Order’s cruisers as I could, and transmitted it to your lead vessel. What else I know, I have been giving the resistance through various sources over the last many months. Outposts. Strategic planning. Information about new technology. All of it.”

Rose shook her head, looking more confused than angry. “Why didn’t you come to the resistance and just give it to us?”

“Just give it to you?” Kylo got up from his seat and looked at her - his expression and voice unchanging. “I know the ideals of the resistance, but how do you think an interrogation of me would have gone? I would have been a prisoner for how long? Until when and if a new galactic Senate can be formed? The Republic is gone, so what is the due process for war criminals?”

Finn grumbled. “I hate to say it, but he has a point. I wouldn’t have returned either.”

“Is that your justification for this?” Rose frowned still looking at Kylo, and Finn could sense the disbelief in her. “You didn’t know how you would be treated as a prisoner?”

“No.” Kylo’s gaze didn’t waver from her, and Finn still saw that coldness in him. How could Rey believe that a man, who could be so unfeeling, had changed?

“Just ‘no’,” Rose sneered as silent tears fell from her eyes.

He took one step towards her, and where Finn felt the urge to take a step back, Rose stood her ground as Kylo spoke. “There is no redemption for the things I have done. I know that. But I might yet atone for at least a fraction of it. I can’t do that from a prison cell.”

Rose sniffled, but held her back straight as Kylo continued.

“I don’t offer any apologies and I will never say I’m sorry for what I have done.”

“Of course not.” Rose gave a bitter laugh. “Why would you?”

“You unfeeling--” Finn stepped forward, but Rose held an arm in front of him. “I shouldn’t have expected anything else from someone who killed his own father in cold blood.”

Kylo looked at him briefly before turning his attention back to Rose. “I do feel remorse for what I have done, and I sympathize with you losing your sister. But there is no apology or recompense I can offer for what I’ve done. I won’t cheapen your loss it by simply saying ‘sorry’ and think it will matter. You, and the countless people who have lost people to the First Order, deserve better. That is why I didn’t turn myself into your resistance.”

Finn felt as if his jaw had hit the floor, as he realised that Kylo was sincere. His stoic attitude wasn’t rooted in a dismissal of his crimes or not feeling regret. In a backwards way it was out of respect for their losses - perhaps even a sensitivity to Rose’s loss in particular. Finn looked at Rose. Tears were streaming from her eyes as she looked at Kylo. He hadn’t seen her this upset since he had found her mourning her sister, when he had intended to desert. 

Rose stepped forward and embraced Kylo Ren’s waist, the side of her face resting on his chest. His eyes widened as he looked down at the petite woman, and if Finn hadn’t been shocked by it himself, he would have laughed at Kylo’s expression.

“Thank you,” Rose said as she pulled away with a sniffle and dried her eyes with the edge of her sleeve.

Kylo looked down at her and for a moment Finn was certain he would cry. Instead he offered Rose an uncharacteristic smile. It was sad and haunted, but there was a small sliver of something hopeful. Perhaps, Ben really had changed after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm overwhelmed by all the comments and kudos! Thank you!
> 
> Happy new year! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. I know, there isn't a lot of fluff in this chapter, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. More fluff in the next one, I promise. Also, please forgive any typos. I was not at my most awake, when editing this.
> 
> Thank you so much for all your comments, kudos and bookmarks! It means a lot to me.
> 
> Hutt translation:
> 
> Cuz uba'laz keekah soh jeedai an darth oom-lics. Nobata nree, besh jee-jee seel oeal. = Cuz says you're interested in jedi and sith relics. Not a cheap accommodation, but I think we can come to an agreement.
> 
> Bu oeal bah smadd. = The deal has changed
> 
> Takka-tak nop bu oom-beddion = Information on the rebellion
> 
> Uba paaj moocha lo = Then take it
> 
> Uba doo duba oays = You have three days

It was mere hours after they landed on Nar Shaddaa, and the rest of the ship were taking the opportunity to rest before they would leave with a transport later that day. Ben quietly got out of his bunk and dressed, but before leaving the crew quarters he placed a hand on the screen of Rey’s bunk. He had never thought he would feel so connected to another person - on a number of levels. And the irony was that he met her when he was at his worst, and now he had to let go of his past and sort out his future. Ben had no problem admitting to himself that he was in love with Rey, but he wanted to be able to actually create a future for himself. And for him it meant to ensure that nothing could come between them again. She had to be able to trust him - and he had to be able to trust in himself.

He let his hand stroke the screen before he entered the living area. He went to a crate and picked up a smugglers hat he had stolen on Rishi and put on a pair of targeting visors. That alongside his dark smugglers outfit and his beard, he should be difficult to recognise unless someone who knew him came up close. He placed his lightsaber on his back under his long black leather coat, attached a satchel to his side and strapped on his blaster holster to the other. He held a hand on the blaster for a moment as remembered Han teaching him to shoot as a boy - and how angry his mother had gotten when she found his father teaching him at the age of five. A melancholy smile crossed Ben’s lips.

“That’s quite the clever disguise. Not foolproof, but you know that.”

Ben turned to see Maz look up at him. She made a gesture for him to lower himself and he slowly bent forward not certain what to expect. Maz removed her grey scarf and then wrapped it around his neck.

“There. It covers up most of that telling scar and with that beard the ones on your face aren’t so noticeable either.”

Ben stood up straight. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, young man. Your droid is waiting for you at the spaceport. I asked him to put in some requests for me with some old acquaintances. We will stay here and wait for the transport until you return.”

Ben nodded and walked towards the ships exit.

“Oh, and Ben?”

He turned and looked at Maz. “Yes?”

“Be careful out there. Despite what you might think, there are still people who want you to return in one piece.” Maz’s eyes darted to the crew quarters, and Ben felt his heart quicken.

He merely nodded as he left the ship. He walked across the landing pad as he felt the presence of his Master in the force. 

“Are you certain going alone is wise?” Obi-Wan said as he walked next to him. “You could use some back up.”

“HK is meeting us at the shuttle.”

“Yes, well, I think that droid has a few loose wires.”

“Funny, I was about to say the same thing about you.”

“Me? You’re the one presumably walking around talking to yourself. You  _ are _ aware that only you can see me?”

Ben ignored the force ghost, whose presence stayed with him. He had always expected encounters with force ghost would have been short, but Obi-Wan stayed for hours at the time. Lost in thought Ben walked out of the spaceport, where HK was waiting at the taxi shuttle as promised. They boarded a shuttle that took them to the part of Nar Shaddaa known as Shadow Town. Once an Imperial prison, it was now home to some of the most devious illegal spice, tech and artefact dealers in the galaxy. All of it perfectly legitimized as long as you worked for the Hutts. 

Ben surveyed his surroundings to identify any possible threats. The architecture was more efficient than it was estetic, the housing being large square metal districts placed on top of each other. Looking over the side of the landing pad, all he could see was a flicker of lights at the bottom. The streets were cramped and everything was technology. Even the few trees were holoprojections labeled with advertising. The rest were signs so bright that he was certain if he stared at it too long he would get a headache.

As for the people, there were plenty of suspect characters, but other than pickpocketing they didn’t pose much of a threat. Closing his eyes Ben didn’t feel anything in the force either, so he walked down the alley and activated the tracker. It led him to a seemingly abandoned warehouse.

Ben held a hand out to HK. “I need you to stay silent in there. Don’t speak unless I ask you too or for some reason we should end up in a firefight.”

“Confirmation: Understood, Master.”

Where the force had been void of any disturbances earlier, he felt it simmering around him as he approached the entrance. Two Nikto stood guard, but let him pass without exchanging a word as soon as he showed them the tracker. The corridors greatly resembled those on a star ship, except these were dirty and covered in rust. As he walked through them he got nasty glares from Rodians, Nikto and Twi'lek, who were armed to the teeth. 

Obi-Wan groaned. “Why is it that I always seem to attract the bounty hunters?”

Ben kept his focus as he entered a large storage area, where his contact, an orange Devaronian named Loke Cuz, and his employer, a Hutt.

“There you are. We expected you weeks ago, but I promised my employer that you would not be a no-show this time.”

“I’m afraid I had unexpected problems with my ship. I was forced to land on Hutta for repairs.”

“You should have let us know. We could have sent some of the finest to help you.”

“Bee nop lo!” The Hutt hissed slapping Cuz’s arm, his red eyes piercing his employee as his green skin jiggled at the movement.

“Of course. Let me introduce Chionaro Turrgo, leader of the Shadow Syndicate.”

Ben bowed.

Turrgo rubbed his cheek, looking Ben up and down. “Cuz uba'laz keekah soh jeedai an darth oom-lics. Nobata nree, besh jee-jee seel oeal.”

“I trust we can find an agreement that will work for both us.” Ben reached into his satchel and pulled out a data pad. “Information on the First Order, as agreed.”

“Bu oeal bah smadd,” Turrgo said as Cuz took the datapad. 

Ben frowned. “Changed? This is what we agreed on.”

“Well, you were delayed by more than three weeks.” Cuz lifted a finger with a smile. “We held on to these relics for this long - turned away a lot of prospective buyers. Naturally, the price has gone up.”

Obi-wan crossed his arms. “This is why you can’t trust a Hutt.”

“What do you want?” Ben kept his face impassive, but his blood was boiling with rage.

“Takka-tak nop bu oom-beddion.” Turrgo smiled, his vicious red eyes staring down at him.

“The Resistance? I don’t have information on them.”

Cuz smiled in his usual overeager way. “Oh, but you arrived with at least two confirmed resistance fighter. A former storm trooper and that short black haired human.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate,” Obi-Wan said. “Try and see if you can buy us some time. We might come up with some way to deal with this without bloodshed.”

Ben felt his heart still. There was no way he was going to betray Rey - or her friends. “They paid me for transportation to Nar Shaddaa. They don’t trust me.”

Turrgo chuckled. “Uba paaj moocha lo.”

“Surely someone who got by information on the First Order can get some from these rebels.” Cuz put his hands together with a charming, if fake, smile. “This is a reasonable deal. We are simply asking you for something you already have access to.”

Ben sighed. “Very well. It will take some time to get the information.”

Turrgo pointed at Ben. “Uba doo duba oays.”

“Three days.” Ben nodded. “But I get half now.”

“You don’t trust us?” Cuz put a hand on his chest. “I’m truly hurt, but I suppose it is only fair.”

Cuz walked over to one of the crates and as soon as he opened it Ben felt the force stir again. There were more there than a few relics. He looked around the storage space and came to the conclusion that it must have held enough artefacts to fill an entire Jedi temple. Cuz walked back to him and handed him two Jedi text.

“A fourth of what we agreed on. You will get the rest, when you have given us the  _ entire  _ payment.”

“Fine.” Ben turned and walked out of the storage room.

“A pleasure doing business with you,” Cuz called after him.

Ben could feel his anger simmering underneath the surface. Not only did he not get the relic he had come to Nar Shaddaa for, but he had put Rey’s friends in danger - and now the greedy Hutt was expecting him to betray them.

“Suggestion: I could simply blast them, Master.” HK’s mechanical hand caressed his weapon.

“Tempting,” Ben admitted. “But not today.”

Something odd was going on in that warehouse. There had been way more artefacts than Cuz had ever inclined. The strangest thing was that they held onto them. Those relics were worth a fortune on the black market.

An Evocii was thrown in front of Ben from one of the adjacent rooms and landed flat on his face. A Bothan mercenary kicked the Evocii. “Get back to the kiosk, you useless inbreed! If you get my order wrong this time, I will gut you and hang you on a sign as a warning to others.”

“Yes. Yes. Of course. Imot lives to serve Turrgo’s friends.”

Ben offered his hand to Imot and helped him stand.

“Thank you.” Imot bowed three times as he walked backwards then rushed towards the exit.

“How do you treat another person with such cruelty simply based on their race?” Obi-Wan shook his head.

Ben nodded his silent answer. Despite the Empire’s and First Order’s xenophobia, it was something Ben had never supported. He had too much of his mother and father in him, according to Snoke. Though Ben had longed to match the strength of his grandfather, he had never desired the annihilation of a people based on their species alone.  _ “My one redeeming quality,”  _ he snarked bitterly in his mind. As if that distinction mattered to all the worlds he had helped to destroy. Though, the plan had been Hux’s, and it was him who carried out the total destruction of the Republic, Ben had been in a position to stop it. Didn’t his inaction make him just as guilty?

“Focus, apprentice,” Obi-Wan said and Ben shook his head.

As he walked out he searched for the Evocii, hoping he might be of some use. Though not agreeing with the xenophobia one thing about them was true, their minds were simpler. This also meant they were easier to persuade with the force. Ben followed Imot to a kiosk where he was trying to buy liquor.

“How many times have I told you that I don’t serve your kind here? Get lost vermin!” The human shop owner hissed.

“But my master--”

“Piss off you low-life.”

Imot lowered his head in defeat and Ben could sense his fear. He walked up to the kiosk and put forth a handful of credits.

“I’ll have three of what he just tried to buy.” Ben nodded at Imot, who gave him a hopeful expression.

The shopkeeper scowled at Ben and crossed his arms, but before he could argue Ben put his blaster on the table - it’s barrel aimed directly at the owner’s chest.

Ben heard a blaster being loaded behind him.

“Recommendation: Do as my Master says before we use you for target practice, meatbag.”

He smiled knowing that HK had his back. The owner swallowed and quickly got the three bottles and took the payment.

“So uncivilised.” Obi-Wan shook his head. “Couldn’t you simply have persuaded him?”

“Not nearly as fun,” Ben murmured with a wry grin and Obi-Wan shook his head.

“You really are like your father - and grandfather.”

Ben walked over to the Evocaii, Imot, and handed him the two bottles of Tevaraki whisky. “Here. One for this time and the one after that.”

Imot looked at the bottles with wide eyes. “Thank you. Imot will not forget your kindness.”

Ben felt a pang of guilt go through him and wished that it had simply been a kind gesture.

“Imot, I need you to do me a favour.”

Imot gave him an uncertain look. “W-what can Imot do?”

Ben motioned for Imot to follow him and they walked down and alley where they hid behind some crates. Ben checked the area to make sure they weren’t being watched.

“Turrgo wants information on both the First Order and the Resistance. Do you know why?”

“Imot hear things. Many died and armies are getting smaller. A great time to expand they say - if they don’t have time to rebuild.”

“Do you know any details?”

“Imot not trusted with details, but…” Imot reached into his pocket and pulled out a holocom. “Trusted with delivery.”

Ben reached for it and turned on the holo. It was a short conversation between three Hutts debating on how best to strike and eradicate both the First Order and the Resistance, so they could expand their empire and form a new galactic rule. Unfortunately, it merely confirmed what most people feared, but that it was so close surprised him. Ben needed more information.

“Thank you, Imot. Stay safe.”

Ben gave Imot back the holo and began to hurry back to his ship.

“You could have used that holo, but you chose to give it back to him,” Obi-Wan said looking at Ben closely.

“They would have killed him if he had returned without it.”

Obi-Wan smiled. “There might be a Jedi hidden in you yet.”

* * *

Rey was sitting in the co-pilot seat waiting for Ben to return. She had awoken by a disturbance in the force and had found that Ben had left without telling her. He had every right to, of course, but it made her worried for him. To make the situation worse, Finn and Rose were still under the impression she was returning with them. While these emotions towards Ben were still so new, she still hesitated to give them a name, she knew that her place was at his side. The force had bound them together for a reason and even now she felt that bond pulling them together. Rey was certain had he been injured or captured she would have felt it, but if that wasn’t the case, then what was the source of the uneasiness she felt?

She was drawn from her thoughts as she saw Maz, Finn and Rose carry crates aboard, Maz had ordered earlier that day.

“How are we going to get all these parts back to the Resistance?” Rose asked with a heavy breath putting down the crate.

“We’ll manage. It was too good an opportunity to pass up.” Maz grinned and looked at Rey.

“Meaning you expect us to carry it? Figures.” Finn groaned, as he fell back into the booth in the mess, dropping another crate on the floor. A bolt fell out of the ceiling and hit him on the head. Finn looked at the ship with a laugh. “This is ship is falling apart. How are we not dead?” 

“Good thing this is on of the best places in the quadrant to get valuable parts on discount.” Maz smiled and tapped her goggles. “If you know where to look.”

“Wait? What?” Finn’s eyes widened. “We’re not staying here. All of us are returning to the Resistance.”

Maz started sorting through the crates. “Just until we have repaired the ship. We can’t just let our most reliable informant fend for himself like this.”

“I guess I better get started then.” Rose shook her head with a smile.

Rey smiled as she watched them, and felt a warmth spread through her chest that her friends had at least accepted Ben to some degree. She felt a tremor in the force and turned around in the seat. Looking out the window she saw Ben - though she hardly recognized him - coming towards the ship with hurried steps alongside HK. She jumped out of the seat and hurried to the ship entrance as Ben came up the walkbridge. 

“Ben, what’s wrong?”

Ben took off his hat and visor, throwing them to the side. He looked down at her and though his face was impassive she could feel the fear in him. 

“Remember how we talked about the Hutt Cartel biding their time? I think they’re about to strike.”

Maz looked at Ben. “How do you know this?”

Rey took his arm. “Come. Sit down and catch your breath, while you tell us.”

Ben gave her a soft smile and did as she suggested. “I came to Nar Shaddaa because I knew of a artefact-trader, who specialises in Jedi and Sith artefacts. And since I learned Revan was here for a time, I hoped I might find some more answers.”

“What does that have to do with the Hutt Cartel taking over the galaxy?” Finn frowned as he looked at Ben.

“I was dealing with a Hutt, but it didn’t go as planned. I sensed something was off, when he started demanding information on the Resistance.”

Rose turned pale. “The Resistance?”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t give him anything. Even if I had anything to give, I wouldn’t.” Ben looked at Rose with sincerity. Rey knew she couldn’t ask the others to trust him, but Ben had never been a liar - at least not to her.

Maz sat down next to Ben. “What did he want with that information?”

“I’m not sure. He wanted intel on the First Order in return for some artefacts, but I felt something when I was there - the force was very powerful. As if it was trying to tell me something.”

“Not surprising with so many artefacts gathered in one place.” Maz nodded.

Rey looked at all of them. “We have to find out what they want. The resistance depends on it.”

“Agreed,” said Rose. “We can’t waste this opportunity. We can’t afford to fight the Hutts, too.”

“And here I am trying to imagine a Hutt army. How would they even fight? Build some sort of massive droid with grenade launchers to carry them around?” Finn quipped.

“Well, fortunate for us the Master Codebreaker is in this system. I’m sure he won’t mind making a detour to Nar Shaddaa.” Maz got up from the booth. “Finn and Rose, you two continue with the repairs. We might need to get out of here in a hurry. I’ll go hire some repair droids to help us and contact the Master Codebreaker.”

“I thought you were better than him?” Finn looked at her.

“Naturally, but I don’t have his contacts in Nar Shaddaa high society and I have a feeling we’re going to need them to get to the bottom of this.” Maz then pointed at Ben. “You, go get some rest and meditate on what happened today. Maybe the force will reveal more about this.”

Ben nodded and walked towards the captain quarters, where he let his coat drop to the floor. He kneeled on the bed and began to meditate, while Rose and Finn went down into the engine room. Rey looked at HK and saw all the imperfections in his design. It was clear his parts were old and she was a little surprised he held together so well.

“HK, bring me that toolkit and I’ll have a look at you.”

“Excited: Thank you, Master Rey.”

“Rey will do.” She smiled and took the toolkit and began 

After half an hour Rey had gone through almost every bolt and replaced a few wires. HK still needed an overhaul, but it was better than it was.

“There. That should be better.” Rey said putting down the spanner.

HK moved his arm to test the new bearings. “Appreciation: Thank you, your assistance is most appreciated. Gossip: It seems that the rumours of your skill and selflessness haven’t been exaggerated.”

Rey felt herself smiling. “Ben told you about me?”

“Confession: My Master spoke rarely before you came aboard, but he would mention your name 88.2% more often than anyone else's.”

Rey looked towards the room where Ben was still meditating, and walked towards it. She walked up behind him and gave him a hug, then kissed his cheek. Ben looked at her with surprise. He was about to speak when she kissed his lips and he smiled.

Rey rubbed his shoulders. “Did meditating help?”

“No.” Ben shook his head. “This can’t continue.”

“What can’t?”

“This war. So many are caught in the crossfires of this never ending war. If we don’t stop the fighting  _ everyone  _ will lose. At this point it doesn’t matter what side wins, as long as someone does.”

Rey wanted to say she knew he didn’t mean it, but that would have been a lie. “How can you say that?”

“Because no matter which side wins the fighting will stop.” He looked at her with that familiar deep sadness in his eyes even if is voice was calm. “After what Snoke, Hux, and I did, this needs to stop - or we won't have agalaxy left.”

Rey fell down to sit on the bed and looked at him. “This was why you wanted me to join you rule the galaxy?”

“I won’t pretend my motives were noble, but yes. As long as even one faction exists this war will never end.” Ben reached behind his back, pulled out his lightsaber, and handed it to her. “Here take it. Tell me what you sense from it.”

As soon as she held is a surge went through her. Rey was standing in a place that was nothing but white. No floor, ceiling or walls, and nothing to fill the wide space.

“Hello? Is anyone here?”

She heard nothing but an echo for the longest time, but then a presence seemed to surround her.

“A pleasure to meet you.”

Rey turned and found a woman looking back at her. Dressed in Sith robes, her skin was pale, her eyes a burning orange and her long hair an artificial overpowering red - which matched the unfamiliar tattoo on her forehead. Rey could feel the dark pulling around the Sith, even in that place of light. She grabbed her lightsaber and held her yellow blade against the woman’s throat.

The Sith smiled, but there was nothing intimidating about it. “How is it that I already have an enemy? Surely this place is large enough for both of us.”

“You’re Sith.”

“Am I?” She looked down herself. “Oh my, it appears I am.”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “Who are you?”

“I am the former owner of the saber your lover now holds. He is an intriguing individual.” The Sith began to walk around with Rey hands on her back. Rey kept her saber pointed at the woman, but though the power of the dark was still clear, she didn’t feel threatened.

“You leave him alone. He has suffered enough.”

The Sith stopped and looked at Rey with a wistful smile. “He has. He is a lot like my husband in some ways. Intelligent, loyal to a fault, greatly underestimates his own importance - despite being aware of his prowess - , and… perhaps a little misguided.”

“And you’re the one to guide him?” Rey hissed.

The Sith laughed. A genuine laugh rather than some cold, deranged cackle Rey had expected.

“No, dear girl. Well, to the knowledge he seeks, but I have no desire to lead him in either the direction of the light and dark. That is a path each of us must determine for themselves.” The Sith waved her hand and a white hovering chair formed behind her. The Sith sat down and leaned back. “It’s also why I didn’t take him to this place. He would cling to me in some desperate attempt to gain control, and that is something he must find inside himself.”

“You’re odd for a Sith.”

“Oh, you need more convincing? I suppose I could say things like, ‘I’m going to kill you and eat you raw, then pick my teeth with your bones’.” She grinned. “Is that more to your liking?”

Rey lowered her lightsaber and strapped it to her belt. “Who are you?”

“I was the Empire’s Wrath. Formerly the Emperor’s Wrath.”

“Formerly?”

The Sith nodded. “My Emperor betrayed my people by devouring entire planets in a ritual to make himself immortal. The man was completely unhinged. For hundreds of years the Empire and Republic fought so that the death and chaos might fuel his insane ritual to stay alive.”

Rey felt a chill go through her. “Is that how Palpatine…?”

“No, though your grandfather was a particular persistent nuisance, I’ll give him that. ‘I am all the Sith’. Idiot. Like there weren’t an entire army of us, indeed an entire Empire, who had sworn never again to serve a false Emperor.”

Rey laughed despite herself.

“Good,” said the Sith. “You need to loosen up. Your demeanour is making me tense. Sit down.”

A chair formed behind Rey and she sat down. Her amusement faded as she looked at the woman. “How long ago was this?”

“Oh, five thousand years, give or take.”

“Five thousand years?” Rey’s eyes widened. “That’s how long this conflict has lasted?”

“There has been periods of peace in between, but I fear this conflict has lasted far longer than even that. No matter how much changes, we have taught our people how to hate and fear all too well. A flaw that can be found even among the Jedi.”

Rey thought on Ben’s words just before she took the saber, as well as their argument after he had killed Snoke. “That was what Ben meant. He thinks that if all this doesn’t end we will still be fighting this war in another five thousand years.”

“History would consider his observation wise.” The Sith’s wistful expression turned into a wry grin. “Though, I don’t think the dictator approach would have been the way to ensure the cycle would break.”

“What do I do?”

“Do what Ben said, ‘let old things die’. Don’t go out and destroy it, but look to the future instead of looking to the past. You are both looking for answers there, and by all means find knowledge and wisdom, but everything the two of you seek shapes itself in your future.” There was almost a motherly affection to the way the Sith looked at Rey, and she couldn’t help but wonder that if a Sith was capable of such a level of compassion and affection maybe there was some truth to it all. Maybe the Jedi were as blind as they had accused the Sith of being.

“Can I ask you something? About the dark and light side?”

“Oh, you see there is the dark side and the light side, and then… uhm… there you have it.” The Sith gave her a wry grin and then laughed as Rey scowled. “Alright, young one, what do you want to know?”

“I feel the dark all around you, but there is light, too. How did you manage that?”

“What is it the Jedi say? There is no chaos, there is harmony? Many believe that harmony means the light side, but in truth it simply means balance. Some people, like Vader and Luke, are forces of that balance. Unfortunately, those who are committed to such a path are also chained to it. Which is why the Sith say ‘Through victory our chains are broken. The force shall set us free’.”

Rey frowned. “How so?”

“People who are bound to create balance cannot exist within it. They will create chaos simply in order to restore balance. It’s their entire purpose.”

Rey felt another chill. Anakin became Vader only to create balance again. Luke achieved balance and peace, but his actions then created Kylo Ren.

“And Ben?”

The Sith took a deep breath. “Is bound to that same fate - at least he was until Snoke bridged your minds together and you became a dyad. If Ben finds balance within himself that purpose will be directed to harmonize the bond between you.”

Rey smiled, but then gave the Sith a determined gaze. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Didn’t I? I found balance in the force, because my purpose didn’t conflict with it. I served my people. I did what was in the interest of the Empire before my own ambition, and sometimes what was for the good of both sides. I acted with honour and dignity, not malice. My actions were fuelled by my emotions, but my decisions were guided by the light. Now, go find a way to deal with those spineless, gutless Hutts.” The Sith held up a hand. “Oh, and don’t aim for their necks. Even a saber has trouble getting through all that blubber.”

The light turned bright and Rey was back on the ship with Ben giving her a curious look.

“I felt it. What happened?” Ben looked concerned and there was a small tremor in his voice.

“I spoke with her - The Empire’s Wrath. She really wasn’t like any Sith I’ve ever heard of.”

“Oh… Then maybe this saber wasn’t meant for me.” He looked down at it and she felt disappointment in him, but she pressed it back in his hands.

“No, it was. She simply wants to guide you, not influence you. I think, she wanted to help me understand you better.”

“Oh? What advice did she give you?”

Rey smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. Ben placed a hand on her neck and pulled her closer to him. Arms wrapped tightly around each other Rey felt his tongue softly pressed against her lips and she opened her mouth slightly as the kiss deepened.


	6. Chapter 6

Rey looked around the rocky landscape. Plantlife was scares and consisted mostly of moss, thistle and weeds. A heavy fog enveloped the hillside and she could feel the cold chill piercing her skin and muscles. Two voices sounded from the fog. Familiar and kind.

“Hello?” Rey called out into the fog, but the only response was her echo. “Is anyone there?”

She stumbled through the fog and walked over rough terrain. She realised she was barefoot as the thistles clawed on her feet making them bloody and itchy. Rey suppressed the pain as she continued, only hearing faint voices.

She felt her body getting weaker as she heaved for breath. “Wait for me! I’m almost there!” 

Exhausted, she fell over on the sharp, slippery rocks. She cried out from pain and heard herself sobbing.

Her mother’s voice sounded through the fog. “I didn’t think anyone could survive out here.”

  
  


* * *

Rey woke gasping for breath and her heart pounding. The dim light in her bunk-alcove turned on and she looked up into the low ceiling. Emotions of despair and loneliness filled her in a way it hadn’t since Achc-to. She pushed aside the screen and walked into the living area as the others slept. Tears streamed down her face as a frigid sensation filled her body.

“I’m here.” She heard a soft voice from behind and felt Ben’s hands on her shoulders. “You’re not alone.”

She turned and wrapped her arms around his waist as she hid her face in his broad chest. 

“I keep seeing their faces. I know they’re gone, but it feels as if a part of me is still waiting for them.”

“I know,” Ben said softly. “And a part of you probably always will. Some things never leave us, but if we allow them to rest, we might gain some distance from them.”

“I thought you said we should let go.” Rey smiled. 

“We should make the attempt.”

She looked up at him and was met with the same somber expression he wore most of the time. But since Exogol something tender had been magnified in his eyes. A vulnerability that had always been there, but had been brought to the surface. “It strange. It seems like you have changed so much, but in some ways you really haven’t.”

“I don’t think my beliefs have changed much, just my perspective.” He shrugged. 

She reached for his cheek and he leaned into her touch. “Or maybe something simply awoke inside both of us.”

A soft chuckle escaped him. “Maybe.” Something humorous awoke in his eyes, even as he didn’t crack a smile. “Or it’s Obi-Wan getting on my nerves.”

Rey giggled, sensing his mood lighten. “Not what you expected from a Jedi Master?”

Ben walked over to the booth near the mess and sat down, where Rey joined him.

“He is not what I pictured, when I heard stories as a child. My mother - and  _ especially  _ my father - always made him seem so severe.”

“But he isn’t.”

“There are times when he speaks about my grandfather, where I feel his sadness. But most of the time he is sarcastic and gets on peoples nerves.”

Rey laughed and Ben raised an eyebrow. “Go on. Laugh. You’re not the one who has to listen to him.”

“You like him.”

Ben’s expression turned grim. “I think he’s what I always hoped Luke would be. Wise, kind, and very patient.”

“And Luke was none of those things?”

Ben looked at Rey, his face impassive, but his eyes dark. She reached for his hand and put it between both of hers. She closed her eyes in shame as she remembered what Luke had done to him - how Luke had been responsible for creating Kylo Ren. How he had made Ben’s choice for him.

“Perhaps Obi-Wan has had a change of perspective, too.” She smiled.

“I’m glad you’re here, Rey.”

Her smile brightened. “There is nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Ben’s gaze intensified and for a moment Rey felt him searching for something in her eyes. His originally curious look faded and was replaced by a concerned frown.

“You’re afraid. Why?”

Rey looked down into the table and tried to suppress that cold feeling from the dream. A wave of fatigue washed over her and she wanted to curl up and cry.

“No. Don’t do that.” Ben reached for her chin and gently guided it to make her look at him again. “You don’t have to hide from me.”

A strangled sob escaped her and he moved closer to her putting his arm around her shoulders.

“My parents died protecting me. I’ve been alone for so long, and now I finally have a chance to feel whole somehow and--”

“Rey…”

“You could have died saving me. You would have died and I would have been alone again. I’ve lost everyone I have ever--” She was unable to finish as the tears fell silently from her eyes.

“I’m not leaving. I won’t.” After a moment he reached for his satchel laying on the floor next to the booth. “I have something to show you.”

Ben pulled out two books and handed them to her. “I used to hate searching for Jedi relics.”

Rey’s eyes widened as she took them and began looking through them. “Why?”

“I was a boy and, I suppose, I was too much like my father. I was more interested in the weapons and kyber crystals than books and holocrons.”

“And now?” She looked at him with an inquisitive gaze, sensing there was more to it.

“At first, I thought it would mean nothing to me. I was looking for answers and they were just a means to an end. But now I’m starting to truly value them, the knowledge and wisdom they hold.”

“What changed?”

“In the beginning they simply bored me, but then I began to resent them. Everything really. Even my name was a promise to what I was supposed to be, not who I actually was. When I left the Jedi, it was to be free of having to live up to Obi-Wan… or even my father.”

“And instead Snoke wanted you to live up to Vader.” Rey put down the book and looked at him. “He wasn’t truly interested in who you were either.”

“No.” A small smile formed on his lips. “Then I met you. You thought me a monster. Odd that someone who had no expectations or hopes for me was the first to truly see me. “

“I didn’t  _ want  _ to know you. I was so sure what I knew was enough.” Rey shook her head, then smiled at him. “I’m glad I got to know you, and you don’t need to prove anything to me or live up to anyone's legacy. I just want you.”

He lifted her hand and kissed it. “Thank you, but I at least have a lot to prove to myself.”

They were silent for a moment, and Rey began browsing through the old Jedi tomes as Ben kept holding her other hand.

“These are incredible. How much does that Hutt have?”

“More than I would have believed possible.” He frowned. “And not just Jedi knowledge, but Sith, too.”

“Perhaps we should get it from him?”

“I’m glad we agree.”

“You know, we could make a fresh start for the Jedi. Not as an ally of any government, but create a place where we could preserve this knowledge. Rebuild, but not in the same way as they did before.”

Ben looked at her with his usual impassive expression.

“Am I naive to think it can be rebuilt?” Both her voice and the look she gave him was more vulnerable than she had ever allowed him to see her.

“No, but maybe it isn’t worth it. Maybe they don’t deserve it.”

Rey closed the book and pulled her hand from ben’s. She caressed the cover of the book as she considered his words carefully. “When my power awoke, I was frightened. I didn’t know what to do. I had nowhere to go. Imagine those who are children, when it happens - how frightened they must be. They need a place to go. Somewhere that can help them.”

Ben took a deep breath, but before he could reply they both looked towards the door to the Captain’s cabin and pulled further apart before Maz exited.

“Oh, good you’re up,” Maz said, sounding almost chipper. “I just had word from the Master Codebreaker. He is on Nar Shaddaa and we’re to meet him in his pent house in two hours.”

Maz then banged on the door to the crew quarters. “Get up you two. We have things to do.”

* * *

Ben left HK back at the ship with the droids repairing his ship to stand guard, while Maz found a transport. When they had boarded, Ben sat next to Rey on the transport as she looked over the metropolis. After her isolation on Jakku and her time with the resistance, Ben figured it must have been the first time she had ever seen a city like it. And though he knew of all the suffering, spice deals, and even organ trade going on below, for a moment he forget as he saw the awe in Rey’s eyes as she took it all in. Every holo light flickered on her fair skin as they passed it, like the aura around her had been ignited. Finn, who was sitting across from them, seemed almost as captivated, while Rose had a more somber expression. 

Ben observed her carefully. Unlike the others, Rose had a deeper understanding of how the galaxy worked. Finn had been raised by the First Order, and before Jakku he had mostly been on janitorial duty. Rey had seen a lot of hardship, but she had been isolated and was in many ways new to the larger schemes of the galaxy. Rose had actually lived among all of it and seen the darker side to the wealth and glowing lights. And for that Ben respected her.

“I have never seen so many lights.” Rey breathed, almost close to a giggle. “It’s not a forest, but it’s beautiful.”

They passed the holo projection of a barely clothed female twi'lek dancing and Rey blushed as she turned her gaze to the floor. “Oh.”

Ben held a fist in front of his mouth to hide his amusement at Rey, while Finn almost pressed his face against the window to get a better look.

Rose hit his shoulder. “Would you stop it?”

“What? I was just… uhm… I thought I saw a stormtrooper. I wanted to make sure I didn’t.”

Ben shook his head and turned to look out the other window.

Maz looked back from the seat in front. “We’re almost there.”

The speeder rose in altitude and went towards a floating building in the middle of the city, where it landed on one of the top balconies. Unlike the other districts, the balconies were filled with potted plants, each one more exotic than the last. Ben watched as Rey looked at them with a fascination that made them seem like the rarest treasures in the galaxy. And when he felt her happiness at seeing these simple plants, he smiled. A human man with a black hair and mustache walked down the stairs leading to the balcony used as a landing pad.

“Maz! It’s so good to see you!” He stretched his arms out and even bend down to give her a hug. He then greeted the rest of them with a handshake. “Come. Come inside.”

As they walked inside Ben looked around the apartment that had several levels. It was filled with droids cleaning and maintaining the place and the furniture was the most expensive credits could buy. Everything was either white or gold, and Ben couldn’t help how many backers the Resistance had that were this wealthy.

“I admit, Maz, I could hardly believe it when I read your message.” The Codebreaker walked over to the bar and mixed some drinks. “The Hutts have always been greedy and ambitious, but this goes far beyond anything I have heard. How do you know this?”

“I got the information only a day ago,” said Ben as he walked over to the bar.

The Codebreaker raised an eyebrow. “And is your source reliable?” 

“Yes.”

The Codebreaker stared into Ben’s eyes and it seemed like he was trying to determine something, then turned to Maz, who jumped up on a barstool.

“Do you trust him?”

Maz looked at Ben for a moment and he swallowed. “Yes. I trust that he is telling the truth.”

Rey looked at Ben with a broad smile, while Finn folded his arms and glared at him.

“Alright, then we should--” The Codebreaker took a good look at Finn and Rose. “Do I know you two from somewhere?”

Finn’s arms fell straight to his side. “No. Nope. No, Sir.”

“I’m certain I know you from somewhere.”

Rose sighed. “We were sent to get you by the Resistance on Canto Bight.”

“That’s it!” The Codebreaker smiled at first, then frowned. “You were the two who got arrested in the Casino.”

Finn shook his head. “That was just a misunderstanding.”

“What did you do?” Rey folded her arms with an amused grin.

“Nothing!” Finn held up his hands, then looked at Rose. “Well, almost nothing. We might have parked on a private beach.”

The Codebreaker raised an eyebrow as he put ice into the drinks. “Not only that, but you should have known entering a casino dressed like  _ that  _ wouldn’t be subtle.” 

Ben gave Finn a skeptical look. “So not only did you get into trouble for parking illegally , but you got caught because you entered an exclusive casino in clothes that would get you easily recognized?”

“What?” Finn snapped and crossed his arms.

“Oh, nothing.” Ben looked away and took the drink he was offered. “I was just wondering how the Resistance ever won a battle.”

Rose glared at him. “By being resourceful.”

“Perhaps we should try a bit more finesse this time?” Said Maz, shaking her head with some amusement. 

“And it will be needed.” The Codebreaker nodded and pressed a button to turn a holo in the middle of his lounge. “This is a casino owned by Fergo the Hutt, who just happens to be a friend of Turrgo.”

The specs of the casino enhanced on a room in the heart of the floating building, and he continued.

“Now, Turggo is one paranoid Hutt. Luckily for us Fergo isn’t. He has benefited greatly from the war between the Resistance and the First Order by selling weapons to both sides.”

“Bastards,” Finn grumbled as he looked at Rose.

Ben folded his arms. “And now that war is coming to an end, so Fergo needs to find a new way to ensure his financial empire lasts.”

Maz narrowed her gaze as she adjusted her goggles. “I take it he keeps all of his information in this room?”

“That would be correct.” The Codebreaker nodded.

Rey stood up and Ben felt the resolve in her that had fascinated him since they met. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go in and get it.”

“It won’t be as simple as that.” Ben made sure his voice was soft and watched Rey carefully.

“Right you are.” The Codebreaker grinned. “But thankfully I have an invitation for a little event taking place tomorrow night..” 

“Great!” Rose smiled and looked at Finn. “Let’s go.”

He pointed at them. “Not so fast. I’m not going to charge in there with you two brutes. This requires finesse.” He looked at Ben for a moment. “You, I believe, have subtlety, unfortunately the security is high which makes disguises almost impossible, and you’re too well known.”

“I understand.” Ben nodded and felt he was strangely relieved not to be going, until the man turned his gaze to Rey.

“You on the other hand, my lovely, are the perfect infiltrator. Unknown, beautiful, good with tech, and with your force tricks it should make this ‘heist’ a somewhat easier task to accomplish.” He took Rey’s hand and was about to kiss it, when she pulled it to her with a glare.

Maz cleared her throat. “I suspect there is an invitation in there for me?”

“Of course.” He smiled at her.

“Very well, then let’s come up with a plan.”

* * *

Ben, Finn, Maz and the Master Codebreaker were going over the plan one last time, when Rey came down the stairs with Rose. She was dressed in a long white dress, with a translucent white shawl draped across her front and down her back. The fabric was so light even the smallest movement made it hang in the air. Her hair was loose and curled, but adorned with jewelry. Ben felt himself swallow, but did his best to conceal how seeing her made him feel. Finn had no such discretion.

“Wow… you look…”

Rey rubbed her neck uncomfortably, and the Codebreaker chuckled as he reached for her hand.

“What he means to say is that you look stunning, my darling.” 

“Thanks,” Rey muttered, then turned her gaze to Ben, who turned back towards the holo.

Rose glared at Finn who shrugged, but Ben could feel the hurt in Rose as Finn’s attention was on Rey. It was hard to notice, even for someone as trained as Ben, as it was a repressed feeling there was always there within her. And it was similar to the feeling Ben felt in his gut as the Codebreaker kissed Rey’s hand.

Maz shut down the holomonitor. “We should get going. We don’t want to be late.” She then pointed at Finn and Ben. “You two behave.”

Finn objected, but Ben didn’t pay attention. Rey had gone out to the landing pad and was fidgeting with her dress. He could sense a nervousness in her that was unfamiliar.

He kept his voice low and soft as he approached her. “Why are you worried?”

“I’m supposed to be subtle. How can I be subtle looking like this?” Rey looked at him with a forced smile. 

He took a step closer and reached out with the back of his hand and let it slide down her arm.

“You look beautiful,” he murmured in a low voice and she smiled with a blush. “And you’ll be fine. You’re the most resourceful person I know. You’ll manage this, too.”

“Thank you.” Her smile brightened. “It means a lot that you believe in me.”

Ben felt his heart beating firmly in his chest and breathing became a little harder, but he was able to keep his stoic expression so that Maz and the Codebreaker didn’t notice as they approached. Ben’s eyes met Rey’s as they left in the Codebreaker’s expensive yellow speeder.

“So, he says we can’t come because we’re not stealthy enough, and then he leaves in that thing?” Finn pointed to it and shook his head.

“There is something to be said for hiding in plain sight,” Ben pointed out as they headed back inside.

“Says the guy who used to wear a mask.”

“Look at it this way, you were one among what? Thousands of stormtroopers? And you still managed to get yourself noticed.”

Finn glared at him. “Still managed to sneak into the Star Destroyer and on to Snoke’s ship.”

“And were you not caught both times? The only reason you got out of there was due to…” Ben stopped and looked at Finn for a moment.

“Luck?” Rose said as they walked towards the holo projector.

Ben hesitated as Finn gave him an almost panicked look. “Sure, let’s call it luck.”

Finn released a breath. “Alright, point taken.”

“Well,” said Rose. “We are responsible for guiding them, while their in there so let’s focus.”

Finn rested both hands on the edge of the large holo terminal. “You really think the communicators won't be detected by security?”

“Even if they are detected by the droids, Rey will get passed them.” Ben started to go over the schematics of the casino once again, avoiding the way Rose looked at him.

About twenty minutes went by and their friends went through the party’s security without a problem. While Maz had a hololink connected through her goggles, the Codebreaker and Rey only had audio. Not that it mattered much to Ben. During the last week his connection to Rey had only gotten stronger, and when she was stressed he could feel everything as if he was at her side.

“Damn, how do you avoid people stepping on you, Maz?” Finn laughed as he looked at the footage of her walking through the crowd - looking up at everyone. Maz couldn’t respond, but Ben did hear a low growling noise coming from her.

The Master Codebreaker and Rey were walking ahead, and Ben noticed how he had placed his hand on her lower back - not to mention the looks Rey got from the other guests. He sensed her discomfort, but also her annoyance, which made him smile a little. That was when they went to greet the host and next to Fergo the Hutt was Turrgo. Ben’s eyes widened as he heard the voice of Obi-Wan  _ “That’s our chance.” _

“Turrgo is there,” said Ben.

Finn frowned at him.“Yeah, so?”

“I have to go.” Ben ran for the door and reached for his coat with the force and ran out the door.

“Where are you going?” Rose called after him.

Ben was in such a hurry he only just heard Finn mutter; “What’s his problem?”

Rey stopped as she felt something in Ben’s demeanour change and then the connection between them seemed quiet. 

She heard Finn in her ear. “Kylo just left. No clue where he went, but he took the speeder.”

Rey closed her eyes and reached out through the force, but she couldn’t feel him. Instead she heard Luke’s voice  _ “He is fine. There is something he has to do. Now, focus on what you need to do.” _ Rey shook her head. She didn’t like it, but she knew other people were relying on her - the Resistance’s survival depended on it. She looked around the grand room with red carpets, purple drapery and more golden Hutt statues than she had ever seen before. The Codebreaker’s arm snaked around her and she felt her skin crawl. It was all an act, she told herself, but she felt uncomfortable under the gaze of so many strangers. Most of her life she had tried to go by unnoticed. The last thing she had needed on Jakku was to make herself an interesting target - for any type of predator.

She had never seen a Hutt in person before, but even by that standard Fergo seemed huge. Turrgo was smaller, but something about his presence made him seem more intimidating. Something in the force was stronger around him and she wondered if he actually carried some of the artefacts with him at all times. 

Fergo held out his arms. “Mah kikyuna, uba made lo.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Fergo. These are my friends Maz and Rey.”

Maz nodded. “Greetings, Fergo.”

“Uba addow people uba oon't keekah soh?” The other Hutt hissed.

“Beet mah busioojah partnah, Turrgo.” Fergo scowled at the other Hutt, who then slithered away. Fergo looked at them again.

“Jee oid nobata doompasha uba beet tee-toc.”

The Codebreaker gave a charming smile. “I couldn’t miss an opportunity to come to Nar Shaddaa remembering your hospitality.”

The Hutt laughed, then narrowed his gaze on Rey. “Whooh bu hu-ttee?”

“She is my companion.” His grasp around Rey’s waist became a little firmer, and for once she didn’t mind it.

Fergo licked his lips. “Uba trade shash? Jee widd wamma.”

“Forgive me my selfishness, Fergo, but I couldn’t bear to part with her.”

“Besides,” said Maz with a smile. “You need wisdom and not youth, great Fergo.”

Rey nearly choked and a serving droid handed her a drink. Fergo laughed out loud, then pointed to a green male twi’lek.

“Beet mah kikyuna an partnah, Sandor.”

He walked over and took Rey’s hand giving it a kiss. “A pleasure to meet you all. Now, shall I show you around?”

Rey looked at Maz, who closed her eyes in agreement, and then turned to the Codebreaker. “If you can spare me?”

“Of course, darling.” He leaned in to kiss her cheek and whispered in her ear. “Be careful. Fergo wants you, and Sandor is the man who needs to make it happen.”

Rey nodded and took Sandor’s hand and let him lead her through the crowd, while Maz and the Codebreaker talked with Fergo. Now Rey only had to figure out how to get Sandor to take her to the center room of the casino.

* * *

Ben stood outside Turrgo’s warehouse with his saber in his hand and looked at the main entrance.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Obi-Wan crossed his arms.

“Going for a stroll. What does it look like?”

“I see your sarcasm is improving. Might I suggest we try a more subtle approach?”

Ben took a deep breath. “I’m all ears,  _ Master _ .”

“Much better. Still more sarcasm than I prefer, but I’m not picky. Now, if you make a frontal assault then you will have to kill a lot of people, and draw attention to you being here a lot sooner. Something more elusive would serve you better, I think.”

Ben looked up and saw the old vents leading into the building. “I could get in that way, but they will probably have stealth droids and motion detectors in there.”

“No doubt, but you’re skilled with the force. Think.”

Ben looked at Obi-Wan, who smiled at him. “I know what I have to do.”

He crawled up a stack of crates that kept him hidden from the guards. He focused on his senses and whenever they would look in his direction, he managed to stay hidden. He reached out for the vent grate and carefully pulled it off, placing it on the ground without a sound. Ben watched the guards carefully and as soon as it was safe he forceleaped into the vent. Crawling through it he managed to disarm a few of the detectors, but as he had sensed there were droids in front of him. With the tight surroundings there was no way he could fight them before they would alert the entire complex.

Ben heard a familiar voice and looked down through one of the grates he was crawling over.

“Imot…” Ben murmured to himself with a conflicted expression as he watched the Evocii wash the floors in a control room.

“It is the most tactical sound option.” Obi-Wan sounded almost as conflicted as Ben felt, but he knew he had little choice.

Ben reached out with his hand. “You will disable the stealth droids and security cameras.”

Imot repeated the order and walked over to the security console, where he made it overload.

“They are smarter than the Hutts give them credit for.”

The fondness in Obi-Wan’s voice only made Ben feel worse. “When they find out, they’ll kill him.” Ben held out his hand again. “You will find somewhere safe to hide.”

“Focus on the task at hand. You will need to keep your mind clear. There is a chance that he will get out of this unscathed.”

Ben shook his head and continued on. When he reached the grate above the storage room, where he could sense all the artefacts he saw five guards.

“All these priceless relics in the hands of bounty hunters.” Obi-Wan shook his head. “Such barbarism.”

Ben nodded. “We can’t leave any of it behind.”

“No… Ben, that’s mad.”

“Only if I fail.” Ben gave him a miniscule wry grin before making his visor cover his entire face, and jumping down into the middle of the room.

“I it hate it, when my apprentices do that,” Obi-Wan groaned. “Stay calm. Sense your emotions, but don’t let them control you.” 

Ben landed on the floor and reached out crushing the locking mechanism on the door leading out of the hanger. 

“Hello,” he said as the guards aimed at him with their blasters. He ignited his white saber and he felt the power surging through him as the voice of the former Sith owner sounded in his mind.  _ “The Jedi are guided by the force, while the Sith try to enslave it, but neither path is that simple. The force has a will, but it needs a commander. Pull from the dark, but let the light guide you.”  _

The mercenaries began shooting and Ben deflected their shots back at them with his saber. When one almost hit him from the walkway above, Ben forcelept and cut of the mercenaries head as he landed. Where he would have felt exhilarated by this a few months ago, he now felt calmness in himself. He felt the rage of the mercenaries as they saw their friend cut down and pulled from that anger. He raised his hand and choked them, but were he would have drawn it out before he now ended their misery quickly.

“Better,” said Obi-Wan, but frowned as he looked at the corpses. “But was that really necessary?”

“Snapping their necks is an instant, almost painless, death. The same cannot be said for a blaster of saber wound.” Ben put a hand over the spot where Chewie had shot him. He could still recall the agony of that and the scar Rey gave him.

“I suppose. So, what now? How do you propose, you’re going to get all this out of the Hutt’s hand?” Obi-Wan crossed his arms looking less than impressed, but Ben merely lifted an eyebrow.

_ “Beta squad, come in? What the hell is going on in there?” _

Ben put on one of the mercenaries helmets and reached for one of the communicators. “Someone has managed to break into the warehouse. Looks like one of Fergo’s men. My men are in pursuit, but we need the cargo moved to docking port 22-Alpha-3 immediately.”

The mercenary on the holo scratched his head. “We need confirmation from Turrgo.”

Ben waved his hand at the holo. “Turrgo has already given confirmation.”

“Turrgo has already given confirmation. Alpha squad out. Alright men, listen up--”

The holo turned off and Ben moved the bodies into an empty cargo container with the force. He sealed it, then opened a grate to the sewer.

“Not bad. I might even call it cunning.” Obi-Wan grinned.

“Perhaps we have something in common after all,” said Ben deadpanned. 

The door opened and in came a bunch of mercenaries came in and Ben pointed to the sewer. “My men followed him into the sewer system. Every crate, except the large one in the corner, is to be moved immediately. You will find a small smuggler’s ship at the spaceport, ready to take it to its new location.”

The mercenary leader adjusted the rifle over his shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, we know the drill.”

“I’ll go to the docking bay and make sure everything is ready.” Ben nodded and walked out of the room. But as he walked by the security room he stopped at the sound of Imot being beaten.

“It’s too risky,” Obi-Wan warned, but Ben ignored him.

Ben opened the door and struck down the man beating Imot. He then reached for the Evocii’s hand. “Come with me. I’ll make sure you live.”

Imot looked at the dead Bothean and nodded before following Ben out of the building.

* * *

  
  


More than an hour had passed and Sandor had gotten increasingly familiar. Several times Rey wished she had brought her lightsaber, but it would have been picked up by security at the entrance. Instead Rey tried patience, attempted to ignore her worry for Ben, and kept asking Sandor a series of questions, which eventually lead them to the main security room in the center of the casino. 

“So this is how you manage to keep this place so safe?” Rey said with faked awe looking at the main computer, that resembled a huge holocommunicator.

“Yes, as you can see Fergo is quite capable of protecting anything he finds valuable. Especially--” Sandor leaned in and sniffed her from behind. “Beautiful things.”

Rey felt rage and discomfort burning in her, when she heard Rose over the comm.  _ “Pretend to be shy. He might send the guards away.” _

_ “No, that’s a bad idea, Rey,” _ Finn objected.

_ “Shut up, Finn.” _ Rose hissed.

Rey turned with a small smile and looked at Sandor. “Not with all these people here,” she murmured looking to the floor.

Sandor grinned and ordered the guards to leave. He reached out and let his hand slide down her cheek and down her throat. Rey had never felt more dirty in her life, and for a moment wished she was back on Jakku scavenging.

“I don’t usually get to try out what Fergo desires before he does, but you are worth the risk.”

Rey grabbed hold on the terminal behind her and her nails scraped painfully against the metal. She tried not to let her feelings show, but she knew she had failed when Sandor furrowed his brow.

She smiled. “Will you get me a drink?”

“I’m sorry, but the boss doesn’t allow people in here alone.” He took a firm hold on her arm. “And out there is too… crowded for what I had in mind.”

Rey narrowed her gaze and reached out with the force. “You  _ will  _ get me a drink.”

His expression faded. “I will get you a drink.”

As soon as he left Rey hurried slicing the computer, then started transmitting the information to Rose and Finn. Rey shook her head as she saw all the information.

“With all they have sold to the First Order and Resistance, how do they have such a large fleet?”

_ “Forget the fleet, where do they have all the people to man it?” _ She heard Finn in her ear.

_ “Those they can’t hire or blackmail, they have enslaved. Trust me, there are people enough to slaughter half the galaxy.” _ Rose’s voice sounded irritated and disgusted, and Rey sympathised.

With the last of the information uploaded, Rey pressed her ear piece. “Alright, Maz, I got it all uploaded. We need you to overload the core and do a system reboot of the entire system.”

_ “Unfortunately,” _ she heard Maz on the line.  _ “There are too many guards down here.” _

_ “I think we might be in luck,”  _ said the Master Codebreaker.  _ “Turrgo and Fergo have just started a massive fight. It’s the perfect distraction. Sit tight, Maz, the guards will be called away at any moment.” _

The line was silent for what felt like an eternity and Rey was continuously looking towards the door fearing the return of her “suitor”, Sandor.

_ “They’re going. Give me two minutes and the entire system will go haywire.” _ Maz chuckled.

The Codebreaker’s voice sounded. “Not before I’m done with funneling some of these credits to the Resistance.”

_ “You’re robbing them?”  _ Rose giggled.

_ “An opportunity presented itself.” _

“Hey, what are you doing?”

Rey turned around and saw Sandor had a blaster pointed at her. Rey reached out with the force and made a small statue rush through the air that knocked him out.

“We need to go  _ now _ !” Rey said as she rushed out of the room.

Finn sounded over the comm.  _ “I just got a message from Kylo. He said to meet him at the spaceport ASAP. It sounded like he was in trouble.” _

Rey felt her heart stop. “Finn, Rose, get to the spaceport now. We’ll be there as fast as we can.”

_ “The system reboot has started. Let’s get out of here, while the guards are still distracted,”  _ Maz instructed.

Rey tried to focus, but she found it hard not to worry for Ben even as she tried to go through the crowded rooms unnoticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone.
> 
> Sorry for this update taking so long. Life has been insane lately. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter :)


	7. Chapter 7

Ben’s heart was beating anxiously as the workers at the spaceport loaded his ship with all the relics. He helped trying to make it go faster and even considered using his force abilities. Unfortunately, he could not afford to reveal himself. Imot and HK where both of great help and though he didn’t have time to admire the work, it was clear that the crew Maz hired to fix his ship had done a great job. He handed a crate to Imot who looked at him with fear.

“Imot is coming with you?”

“Yes, of course you are. As soon as we get all this loaded.”

Imot gave him a bright smile. “Imot very happy. Very grateful.”

“What the hell is going on?”

Ben turned as he heard Finn’s voice. He looked around the spaceport. “Where are the others?”

“On their way. You sounded annoyed, so, I thought, I should come and help you out,” said Finn, though he seemed less than enthusiastic.

“Thanks. Now take those crates--”

Shots were fired and Finn and Ben hurried to take cover behind some of the cases, while the dockworkers ran. Ben looked over the crates and saw Turrgo’s mercenaries.

“Shit!”

Finn took quick heavy breaths. “Why are they shooting at us?!”

“I negotiated with their Hutt employer for some jedi artefacts.” Ben shrugged. “It didn’t go so well.”

Finn looked at him with wide eyes. “You stole them?! _Of course_ you stole them.” Finn shook his head and took the blaster from his belt and fired back.

“Technically, they are the property of the Jedi and since Rey and I are the last bits of that order, they have simply been returned to their rightful owners.” 

Ben looked over the crates and began shooting at them as well. He was certain it was his imagination, but he could hear Obi-Wan frowning and complaining.

“You know,” Finn grunted. “I used to think you had too much of Vader in you. Now, I think you have too much of your father.”

Ben focused on shooting and killed two of the at least dozen lackeys shooting at them. “I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.”

“Insulted. Definitely insulted!” Finn hissed as he managed to shoot another one then activated his communicator. “You guys better hurry back here. We’re held up by a small army.”

Maz sounded over the comm. _“What happened?”_

Finn groaned as he took another rounds of shots. “Well, Darth Impulsive decided to start the war with the Hutts a little early.”

“I don’t remember any of your plans being that thought through,” Ben snarled.

“How would you know? You were busy ruling the First Order, you worthless son of a H--”

 _“Finn, shut up and focus before you get killed. We’re almost there!”_ Rose hissed in the comm.

Between Ben and Finn they managed to take down a few more, when a shot almost hit Finn directly in the face.

“I swear, if these goons don’t shoot you, _I will_ ,” Finn hissed.

Ben’s response was deadpanned. “Nice to know I have something to look forward to.”

“Since when do you do sarcasm?” Finn looked at him with disbelief then his eyes widened as he looked at the goons. “Oh shit! More incoming.”

Ben lowered himself behind the crates and hit his blaster as it was overheating.

“Oon't kidd. Jee wak shash!” They heard a Hutt call out and the shooting stopped.

Ben looked over the crates and saw Turrgo standing with his men.

“You think I didn’t know you were Ben Solo?”

Finn scratched his head. “Since when do Hutts speak basic?” 

Rage simmered in Ben’s chest as he stood up and pulled off his hat and visor to reveal his face. _“Be cautious, my apprentice. He used your given name, not ‘Kylo Ren’. This might not be what you think,”_ Obi-Wan cautioned in his mind.

“You know who I am.”

“Of course I do.” The Hutt looked at him, and Ben sensed the rage in the Hutt. “You’re son of Leia Organa. The woman who _murdered_ my father! Beldorion was once a Jedi Knight, but saw the power of the dark.”

“What’s with your family and killing parents?” Finn looked up at him.

Ben ignored Finn and scowled at Turrgo. “My mother is dead.” He heard his own voice and it was irily passive.

“I know, which is why I’m taking my revenge out on _you_ . You know, I had planned to destroy you alongside the First Order, when you suddenly disappeared. And then you just happen to walk into _my_ warehouse.” Turrgo chuckled.

Finn looked around the crates. “That is quite a coincidence.”

“Or I was led here on purpose,” Ben hissed through gritted teeth wondering just how much of this Obi-Wan had known.

A shot was fired and Ben turned his head back to the ship, where Imot fell forward down the walkway to the ship. Without thinking Ben grabbed his lightsaber and force jumped over the crates. 

To his shock Turrgo ignited a red lightsaber and parried. Turrgo’s mercenaries resumed shooting, and Ben managed to deflect them with his lightsaber and only just dodging Turrgo’s saber as a result.

“Declaration: No one hurts my Master!”

HK began shooting alongside Finn, though Ben was losing focus. The rage in him continued to burn exponentially as his white saber clashed with Turrgo’s. Though Ben was superior with a lightsaber and Turrgo wasn’t very flexible, his force power made up for it. He pushed Ben along the floor to the edge of the landing pad, where Ben only just managed to grab a hold of the ledge. 

He wanted to jump up again, but the fire intensified in his direction making it impossible to jump to safety - even with the force.

 _“Ben, I’m here! Hold on!”_ He heard Rey’s voice in his head and the shooting near him stopped. He forced jumped into the air and saw Rey and Maz engage the mercenaries, while Rose and the Codebreaker attempted to make their way to the ship. HK protected them, but Turrgo threw his lightsaber cutting the droid into half. 

Ben cried out in anger and flipped over Turrgo managing to blind the Hutt. Ben felt nothing but the fury burning in his veins, and the sensation of a thousand fireantz crawling across his brain made him act entirely on instinct. He heard nothing but his own pulse as he cut down one mercenary after the other without remorse.

“BEN!”

A cool wave washed over him at the sound of Rey’s voice and he discovered he was standing over Turrgo, who was lying blinded and begging on the ground, ready to kill him. He backed away and looked around in horror as dismembered limps where every. Most of the mercenaries weren’t even dead, but were crying out in pain as he had left them to a slow agonizing death. 

He turned off his lightsaber and threw it to the side, but he never heard it land on the ground. He jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Rey looking up at him. Still dressed in her white gown, she looked pure and untainted. She was holding his lightsaber in her hand and gave him a kind, if sad look.

“Come. It’s time to leave.” Her voice was incredibly soft and tender - and somehow it made him feel even worse. He hurried towards his ship picking up HK in the process. Inside he saw Rose tending to Imot’s wounds. Ben felt sick to his stomach. He had completely forgotten about Imot, even though him getting hurt was what set him off.

“Will he live?” Ben asked, his voice void of any emotion.

Rose was using a medpac to stop the bleeding. “If we get him medical attention fast enough. He is stable for now, though.”

“Make sure everyone is on board. I’ll begin take off at once.”

Ben saw the disbelief at his calm in Rose’s eyes, but he ignored it. Instead he hurried to get all systems online - not even bothering to check if all repairs were complete. Rey sat down next to him and within minutes they were leaving the orbit of Nar Shaddaa. He got up from the pilot seat, as soon as they entered hyperspace.

“Ben.” He heard Rey say behind him, but he continued without looking back.

* * *

Rey walked down into the hold and saw Ben hurling parts across the room to vent his anger. She had seen that fury in him many times, but where before she had seen it as dark side channeling it was the pain that struck her then. His desperation, his helplessness. 

“Ben?”

He stopped with his back turned towards her, but didn’t move. 

“What?” He snapped, but Rey knew better than to take it personally.

“We have managed to stabilise Imot. I would heal him--”

“Don’t.” Ben looked back at her with his dark pained eyes. “It’s too risky. You still need to regenerate.”

“I know.”

“Good.” He turned away from her again and she could feel his shame.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Rey kept her voice soft.

“Then whose was it?” The anger in his voice grew stronger. “I was the one who charged after those artefacts. I should have been smarter, but I was so obsessed… I always act with my feelings and it ends up getting people hurt.”

“Ben, listen to me.” Rey walked up behind him and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Imot will recover and we have all HK’s parts. I’m sure together we can repair him. You saw an opportunity and you took it, and despite what happened we did succeed.”

He shook his head. “There are times where it would have been better if I had died on Exogol.”

Rey’s heart stopped and her eyes widened. “You can’t be--”

“Rey…” He turned to look at her. “I know you prefer not to, but think about all the things I did. All those lives I took. I did it without hesitation or remorse. But now I see everything I did and I don’t have a way to justify it… even to myself.”

Tears fell from Rey’s eyes as she looked deep into his. She could feel his pain pulling at her and her own fear at his words. “Don’t say such things. Not after all this.”

“Please don’t think I regret living.” He reached for both her hands. “How could I, when you’re at my side? But I am is a lie. My name is a lie. My father’s real name wasn’t Solo. It was something he took. A mask. And Ben is a promise of something I could never hope to be. _Everything_ I am is a lie.”

She smiled up at him and raised herself to kiss him. His breath hitched for a moment before he leaned into the kiss.

“That’s not a lie. You’re not a lie. For everything you have done, you have never been a liar. Even when we were on opposite sides I came to trust that if you told me something it was the truth.”

He released a low chuckle. “Thank you for wanting to see the best in me.”

“Thank you for letting me see it.” She gave him a bright smile and he reached out to wipe away her tears. “You need rest. Go get some sleep. I’ll clean up your mess.”

He smiled. “You always do.” He walked over to the ladder then looked back at her. “You really do look beautiful in that dress.”

Rey blushed as he crawled upstairs and took a deep breath to control her heartbeat. She looked at the mess he made and she shook her head. She hoped one day he might get better control over his emotions. _“Well, this will make excellent levitation training, if nothing else.”_ She thought to herself.

After a few minutes she heard grunts coming from the ladder and saw Maz crawling down with a backpack filled with HK’s parts. Maz looked her up and down.

“Is that really something you should be doing in that lovely dress?”

Rey looked down at herself in embarrassment. “Oh! I’m not used to having such things. I guess I didn’t think about it.”

“At least you’re using the force.” Maz placed the backpack on the workstation. “So, tell me. What really happened between you and Kyl-- Ben, on Exogol?”

Rey sat down on one of the crates. “Everything happened just as I said, except he didn’t die. There was a moment where I thought he would, but then he didn’t and I was so relieved.”

Maz raised a brow. “Relieved? That seems like a curious reaction given the amount of times your two have tried to kill each other.”

“Vader turned back to the light. Is it so hard to believe Ben did?”

“I suppose not.” Maz looked at her carefully with a small frown. “You are not returning with us to the resistance.”

“I’m needed here.”

“Are you saying that he needs you or that you need him?”

Rey blushed and looked down at her hands as kneading them together. “There is still good in him. I see it getting stronger every day, and I can guide him.”

Maz ran a hand over her head. “You are aware that it is a change that must come from within him. You can only do so much.”

She looked at Maz. “I know it’s difficult to understand, but I belong here.”

“Do you mean on this path or that you belong with _him_?”

Rey felt colour fade from her face and looked down into her hands. Maz walked over and placed a hand on hers.

“You love him.”

“I know that perhaps I shouldn’t, but…” She looked up as her skin shivered. “Yes, I do love him.”

Maz gave her a small smile and reached for her cheek. “You don’t have to be ashamed of being able to love a person despite of their past. That you are capable of seeing past it is an incredible gift. And if he loves you even half as much as Han loved Leia, then you’re luckier than most. But...” Her gaze turned stern. “Be careful and mindful, for both your sakes.”

* * *

Rey gave a sigh of relief when they exited hyperspace and approached the second moon of the third planet - the new Resistance base. It was small - even for a moon - but had a temperate climate and a lot of dense forest that made it easy to hide. It was also rich in marine life and nutritionist plantlife. Finn sat in the co-pilot chair and looked back into the cabin, where Ben was sitting next to Imot. The Evocii had been unconscious for the entire journey, and though Rey could tell how it affected Ben, the rest saw only an unfeeling monster.

“Are you sure we can trust him?” Finn nudged his head in Ben’s direction. “What if he gives our location to The First Order or the Hutts?”

“He is a fugitive from the First Order, even though he was their commander, and the Hutts have literally just tried to kill him a few days ago. What would be the point?” Rey scowled at him while gesticulating with her hand.

“I don’t know.” Finn raised his eyebrows and pushed out his lower lip. “That’s what worries me.”

Rey rolled her eyes and began the descent into the planet. As soon as they landed Rey hurried into the kitchen area, where Rose and Maz were already preparing to move Imot.

“Alright,” said Rey. “Ben is going to stay here while we unload supplies and make sure Imot gets treated. After Ben and I will find somewhere to stay away from the Resistance. We can stay in contact, but I think it would be best if we don’t reveal the identity of our informant.”

Finn grabbed her arm. “Rey, this is a bad idea.”

Maz shook her head and got ready to leave with some of the supplies. “That’s enough, Finn. She knows what she is doing. And you.” She pointed a Ben. “Keep her out of trouble, do you hear me?”

Ben’s face remained an emotionless mask and simply nodded. He looked at Imot and then at Rose. “Let me know how he does.”

Rose gave him a slim smile. “I will.”

Rey walked over to Ben and reached for his cheek. “I’ll go with him and make sure he is fine.”

He put his hand on top of hers and turned his head to kiss the palm of her hand. Despite the circumstances Rey felt her heart skip a beat at this small public show of affection. He had kept a distance to her until then, making certain no one would see his affection for her - or more likely that no one would judge her for her feelings for him.

Rey helped walked after the hovering lift carrying Imot. Poe came running towards them with a smile.

“You guys are incredible! How did you even manage to get hold of all those funds and supplie--” He stopped as he saw Imot. “Medic!”

People came running and started to take Imot to get treated.

Poe pointed to Imot as they followed the medics. “So, who is this guy?”

“A friend,” Rey said simply.

Finn walked up next to them leaving Rose and Maz to empty the ship. “I think he belonged to Turrgo the Hutt.”

Rey looked at Finn with astonishment. “How do you know?”

“I talked to K--” Finn stopped himself and cleared his throat. “Our informant.”

Poe raised an eyebrow and took a step in front of Finn. “Informant? What informant?”

Finn became flustered and tried to avoid Poe’s gaze.

“Finn, buddy, what is going on?”

“You have been getting a lot of intel lately to take down the First Order, right?” Rey interrupted hoping she could keep up appearances.

“Sure, that intel saved a lot of lives. Wait, you know who it is?!” Poe gave them a broad smile. “There are a lot of people who want to thank them.” 

“Doubtful,” Finn muttered and Rey stepped on his foot. “Ow!”

Poe folded his arms across his chest. “Alright you two. What is going on?”

Rey took a deep breath. “He is on the ship. It’s his ship actually, but he wants to keep his identity a secret.”

Poe nodded. “Alright, when is he leaving then?”

“I was thinking of going with him to the other side of the continent until we figure out what will happen next.”

“Agreed. Now, Finn let us help Rose, Rey you go and make sure your friend is okay.”

Rey nodded and hurried after Imot.

Ben paced back and forth in the middle of the ship. It had been hours since they had unloaded the ship. He was anxious to know what happened to Imot and he reached out to sense Rey, but couldn’t establish a full connection through their bond. It always seemed to be more on accident than with purpose, which frustrated him. He didn’t dare go near the windows in fear of someone recognizing him. The hatch finally open and the walk bridge lowered. He backed away in case someone would see him, but he could already feel Rey’s presence. She smiled as soon as she entered and pushed the button to close the hatch.

“He’ll be fine.”

Ben took a deep breath, took two steps forward and embraced her. After holding her for a few moments he pulled away and kissed her deeply. Her lips melted against his and his hands roamed her back. He felt another fire building in him, but not anything like the fury he had felt before. Rey pulled away, her lips red and her face flushed.

“We should get out of here.”

Ben nodded and they walked to the cockpit and took off. 

They landed in the forest on the other side of the continent of the Resistance base. They sat in silence and Ben could feel his heart beating harder. Since Exogol he had longed for the moment when he would be with Rey again - _alone_. But everything had been so hectic and now they had a moment to breathe. To let everything sink in. He knew what he wanted to do. Every inch of his body screamed out for the closeness. 

“I should go look at and see if I can repair HK,” Rey said looking straight ahead.

“Oh, yes. Sure. I need to go… see if the hyperdrive is holding together.”

Ben took a few deep breaths before he turned to look at Rey. He was met by her hazel eyes staring straight back into his and her breathing was as ragged as his. Without thinking his lips were pressed against hers. He was uncertain who of them had moved first, but she was in his arms as he kept kissing her deeply with his hands on her waist. She eagerly responded and he felt her fingers in his hair. He pulled her down on top of him in the pilot seat, where she straddled him. He gently caressed her lips with his tongue encouraging her to open her mouth. When she opened with a quiet moan he wrapped his arms around her back pulling her closer.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Thank you so much for all your comments!
> 
> Sorry for this update taking so long. RL has been crazy.
> 
> Also, the Hutt jedi part actually happened in Legends, so I'm not just making that up XD


	8. Chapter 8

Ben sighed against Rey’s lips as his hold on her tightened. Her hands roamed over his chest and his thoughts were anything but coherent. When had he last been touched this way? Not just from lust, but with caring affection. As if  _ he  _ truly mattered for who he was, and not for the legacy others wished for him to carry on. Never. He kissed Rey along her jawline and she made soft moaning noises that made his heart swell… among other things. Her grip on his shirt got tighter and he felt the tip of her nails digging into him. He hissed against her neck.

“S-sorry…” she sighed, but he merely deepened the kisses on her neck.

His hand began exploring her curves and he could feel her shudder. Both from anticipation, desire, and nervousness. Though he couldn’t be certain, he had the feeling that she had never gotten close enough to anyone to have taken a lover before. With Rey, he needed to be slow and gentle, and let go of his tendency to rush towards ecstasy as he had done with the women of his past. Prostitutes mostly, and the rest women who desired his power. He shook his head, trying to wipe their faces from his mind. There was only Rey. His hands moved to her rear and he was about to pick her up and carry her to the Captain's cabin.

“Hello there!”

Ben pushed Rey off his lap and got to his feet, feeling his face heat up. Rey cleared her throat and tried rearranging her clothes, but only managed to make it worse. Ben scowled at Obi-Wan who merely chuckled.

“And they say Sith are cruel." Another force ghost manifested itself, and though Ben had never seen her, he knew her voice.

“Wrath?” Rey widened her eyes.

The sith chuckled, her flaming eyes warm with amusement. “Who else would I be?”

Ben held a hand out towards Obi-Wan. “Rey, this is Obi-Wan.”

Rey gave a bright smile and her eyes lit up with excitement. “You’re Obi-Wan Kenobi? You’re a legend!”

“And what am I?” Wrath raised her brow. “A decayed womp rat?”

“An unwelcome guest, perhaps.” Obi-Wan chuckled and she folded her arms across her chest with a wicked grin.

“Need I remind you, that  _ you _ were the one to intrude on a private moment, and are now ignoring a young woman in awe of your presence? I thought Jedi were taught manners.”

“Do forgive me, my darling, how rude of me.” Obi-Wan bowed and looked towards Rey. “You should not give me too much credit, young one. ‘The Legend’ as you call it shaped Darth Vader and allowed for the Empire to take control of the galaxy. With disastrous consequences.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” said Ben, his eyes focused on his Master. “Even had you not trained my grandfather, the Empire would still have risen. There was too much corruption. What happened after might have turned out differently, but even if you hadn’t trained him, Palpatine would still have managed to grab power.”

Obi-Wan gave a wistful smile and placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Now that you have ruined their evening, perhaps we should talk?” Wrath raised an eyebrow, looking at Obi-Wan.

Ben closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, as the others made their way into the mess. Seeing a force ghost should be a rare and unique experience. Instead he was stuck with two of them. He walked over and sat down next to Rey attempting to suppress his irritation. Obi-wan had taken a seat opposite them, while the Wrath remained standing.

Rey narrowed her gaze at the Wrath. “I thought Sith couldn’t become force ghosts?”

“And Jedi teachings are as accurate as ever.” The Wrath grinned and shook her head. “Two things, one need not be a Jedi to become one with the force, merely in balance. What the Jedi falsely assumed is that balance means being filled by the light side, when in fact it simply means to not being in conflict with oneself.”

“The illusions of a dreamer.” Obi-Wan glared at her with a faint smile.

“The narrowmindedness of a Jedi.” Wrath leaned on the table toward him, her cleavage somehow seeming deeper, and Ben scratched his head as he turned his gaze away.

Obi-Wan leaned forward. “Have a care of arrogance, my darling.”

“Mmm… I could get used to that phrase. ‘My lord’ does not carry the same…” She took a deep breath her orange eyes darkening. “Passion.”

Obi-Wan grinned. “You confuse charm with passion.”

“And your confidence and knowledge with arrogance.”

Ben coughed. “And what was the second way for a Sith to become a force ghost.”

Wrath stared at Obi-Wan for a moment then straightened her back. Her amusement completely forgotten. “Is actually the opposite. If there is so much conflict in them that they cling to this corporeal, their connection to the force gets corrupted and they are unable to find peace and become one with it.” Her gaze turned to Rey. “Probably how your grandfather managed to survive. Parasite.”

Rey’s expression became concerned. “And what happened to you?”

“The former, thankfully. Walking around some dusty tomb for eternity doesn’t offer much fun. I was peacefully enjoying my existence.” She turned to Ben. “Until I felt you. The conflict in you. Your deep shame and regret.”

“Let me guess, it mirrored your own?” Obi-Wan gave her a teasing glare, but she did not turn to look at him and her expression remained calm.

“No, it mirrored my husband’s.”

Ben narrowed his gaze, feeling somehow disgusted that he could be compared to a man like Hux. “The Imperial officer?”

“Quinn was more than a uniform. He was a man, and a good one at that.” Wrath’s voice was firm, but at the same time there was a tender emotion to it that seemed even more profound.

Rey shook her head. “But he worked for the Empire.”

“Yes, but not all in the Empire were cruel. Some were simply devoted to a different belief. Believe it or not, Sith were once a people of honour and integrity. Our Emperor wanted immortality, and was fuelled by the Empire and Republic fighting each other. A war that continues even now, eons after the bastard was eradicated from the universe.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “That can’t be right.”

Wrath raised an eyebrow at him. “I have lived far longer than you, old man. I witnessed it first hand. The Empire I knew was ever changing. Accepting of aliens, we had a new Empress who was dedicated to the welfare and survival of her people instead of her own mortality. But in the end, we had learned our lessons from the former Emperor too well.”

“Where you young when you died?” Rey’s expression filled with sorrow.

Ben looked closely at the Wrath again at the actually rather beautiful woman, even if she was the most intimidating thing she had ever seen. Her eyes looked like molten lava, her hair was blood-red and she was dreadfully pale. Instead of a sith robe she was wearing tight from fitting armour, that revealed both her shoulders and cleavage. Not ideal for a combat situation unless she put something on in addition. From her looks, Ben guessed she must have been around her mid thirties, when she died.

Wrath smiled at Rey. “Oh, dear one, don’t fret. I was older than this when I died. I was not so easily killed. But this is when I had the most power. This is how I have always seen myself, so this is why I appear this way.”

Ben scratched his neck. “This is all very fascinating, but why come to me with this… why now?”

“Because you need answers,” Obi-Wan said. “And while this might be unorthodox, she has knowledge from the time of the Old Republic. Information that has been lost to the Jedi. You’re seeking for purpose, to find the history that was lost and find the answer to who you are.”

“I know where to find those answers, and the Jedi here knows you, as does your lady friend. In times when you do not know yourself, it is wise to look to others that we do for that certainty.” Wrath smiled and reached for his hand. “You are courageous and curious. Not all would dare look for the answers your wish to find.”

Obi-Wan smiled as well. “You are also strong and wise.”

Ben nodded and got up, then walked outside. Rey was about to go after him, but Wrath stopped her.

“Let him be for now. The journey he is on is not easy. Learning to endure it is half the task.”

Outside he leaned against a tree and looked up at the unfamiliar stars. Obi-Wan appeared next to him, looking up as well.

“Why are you training me?” Ben turned to look at him. “The truth.”

Obi-Wan took a deep wistful breath. “When Anakin was still my padawan he found his mother dying. Captured and tortured by sand people. He slaughtered every last man, woman and child. I didn’t learn of that until after he had become Darth Vader. He didn’t tell me that he had lost himself, because he knew I would never forgive it. Anakin knew I would push him away. Had I been able to forgive then, given him the confidence and belief that I would forgive him, he might have told me.” He shook his head. “If he had, I could have guided him back to the light and Vader might never have happened.”

Ben swallowed, turning his gaze away in shame. “I have done worse horrors than what Anakin did to the sand people.”

“When I arrived on Mustafar your grandfather had just destroyed the temple and killed younglings. I was so distraught and I couldn’t look past it. For many years I believed it was when I saw him there that I believed my friend had died. That only Vader was left. It wasn’t until much later I realised I had made that decision before following him to the Mustafar system. I couldn’t forgive him for it. I didn’t want to. It was easier to believe the boy I trained was dead, than there was still some part of him left.” Ben felt Obi-Wan’s hand on his shoulder and he looked up at his Master as he continued to speak. “Had I been wise enough to forgive him, perhaps I could have done then, what Luke managed much later… to turn him back to the light.”

“I know better than anyone how strongly you can cling to the dark. Even with the risk of losing Rey, it had a hold on me that was impossible to ignore.” Ben leaned back against the tree, releasing a heavy painful breath.

“But she forgave you. And when Luke had turned your grandfather, I finally managed to forgive him. You ask why I choose to train you. It’s not redemption for my part in creating Vader. I’m training you so that you might overcome our shared weakness - being unable to forgive.”

Ben gave a bitter chuckle. “Meaning you want me to forgive Luke for trying to kill me.”

“Yes, but there is someone more important you must forgive first.”

Ben looked up at Obi-Wan.

Leaning in with a soft voice and placing a hand on his shoulder, his master said, “Yourself.”

* * *

Rey awoke, heaving for breath as the voices and visions of her parents’ last minutes haunted her. The dreams had been there ever since she had confronted Palpatine. They were not getting stronger, but they were not getting any easier either. She turned in her bunk to look for Ben. He usually manifested himself when she had a nightmare, but he wasn’t there. Rey closed her eyes and she felt him, but not clearly enough. She jumped out of her bunk wearing only leggings and a shirt. When she looked at the bunk Ben had been using, it was empty. She had gone to bed before him, so she wasn’t certain if he had gone to bed at all. For a moment she thought she heard his voice and walked out the crew quarters. His voice was coming from the captain’s cabin and she opened the door. The moonlight shining through the slim window was enough for her to see him thrashing in bed. She sat down next on the bed and reached for his cheek.

Ben jumped awake with a gasp.

“It’s alright. It’s me.” She stroked his beard and he leaned back down into the pillow rubbing his face with both his hand.

“Nightmare?” she asked in a low soft voice.

He took a deep inhale through his nose. “Yes.” He then sat up and looked at her and reached for her cheek wiping away tears she hadn't noticed. “Looks like you did too. Are you alright?”

Rey smiled for a moment, but then tears fell. “No. I’m not.”

Ben pulled her into his embrace and held her as she cried into his bare shoulder. He didn’t ask any questions, but just held her until she calmed down.

She pulled away and wiped away her tears with a smile. “I should probably go back to bed.”

Ben’s expression was impassive, but his eyes still held the same deep emotion as always. “You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.”

Rey’s eyes widened and she looked to the other side of the bed, pressed against the wall. She smiled and nodded before crawling over him and Ben lifted the covers for her. He laid down on his side facing her and Rey noticed that he was only wearing his pants. Of course she knew he hadn’t been wearing a shirt, but she didn’t  _ notice _ until then. He reached out to stroke her cheek and as if by instinct she moved closer to him. She cuddled into his chest and put an arm around his waist as he embraced her. She closed her eyes and focused on the warmth coming from him. Warm and safe.

“What was your dream about?” Rey spoke softly, fearing she would ruin whatever this was.

“The night Luke tried to kill me, and the temple was destroyed. I lost everything that day. So much of our history was lost.”

She held him a little closer. “I’m so sorry.”

“I never told you but…” Ben hesitated and she felt the breathing in his chest grow deeper. “I didn’t destroy the temple when Luke tried to kill me. I didn’t know it at the time, but I believe Snoke is responsible.”

Rey felt her heart stop. “You mean, you were never responsible? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

His eyes were filled with so much sadness, Rey could barely stand to look at. Seeing such pain in him physically hurt in her own chest.

“It would have sounded like a lie even if it wasn’t. It was something you knew me capable of, and claiming innocence would just have made you more suspicious of me.”

She leaned her head back and looked up at him. “I believed you about Luke… eventually. You have  _ never _ lied to me. I trust you.”

Ben gave her a genuine smile before giving her a soft kiss.

* * *

Rey awoke and turned over to reach for Ben, only to find him absent. She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept next to another person - under pleasant circumstances at least. Her life had been lonely since she was a small girl and was now finally beginning to feel… not belonging. She had found that with the Resistance and her friends. No… this was a closeness and a bond far stronger, and it made her feel safer than anything had in a long time. 

She loved him, but she wasn’t certain he was ready for a confession - or that she was. Rey hardly remembered having a family, but Ben once had a family that loved him - and he lost all of it. Of course she knew that he bore some responsibility for the path his life had taken, but the fault was not his alone. Luke bore as much responsibility for it, and he had pushed aside a young man who had nowhere to go.

Rey got out of bed and put on her pants and boots before walking out of the cabin with her lightsaber in her hand. Ben was nowhere to be found, but she then heard the sound of a lightsaber. The motions were thankfully too calm to be combat. As she walked down the ramp, she saw Ben training with his lightsaber, wearing his white shirt, pants, and boots. She saw his muscles flexing and she blushed as she recalled the contours and muscles of his bare chest. 

Trying to distract herself from the image, she focused on his movements. Each stroke was calm and with purpose, which was something new. His fighting style had always been as much about retaliation - with the exception of the battle on the fallen Death Star. She cringed as she remembered it. She had been the aggressor that day. For the first many strikes of her blade, he had not even pulled his. It had been so clear he had no intention of fighting her, but she had pushed him to fight. Assumed he wanted to fight… she was no better than Luke.

Trying to ignore her guilt and not dwell on the darkness it, created she walked down the ramp, and was rewarded by a warm smile as Ben saw her.

“Did you sleep well?”

“I haven’t slept that well  _ ever _ .” Rey found herself instantly blushing at her blunt confession and Ben gave her a wry grin, but did have trouble meeting her gaze.

Clearing her throat she ignited her lightsaber and Ben raised a brow.

“Wouldn’t it be more fun to have someone to spar with?”

He chuckled. “Well, training alone does enhance one's flaws.”

Rey smiled and began their sparring match. They walked around each other, staring into each other's eyes. Neither showed any sign of readying an attack, yet Rey felt her heartbeat quicken. Her breathing got deeper as Ben’s dark eyes locked with hers. It felt as if she had two hearts beating in her chest at once, and her muscles tensed. Not from readying an attack or defense, rather an anticipation. Ben gave a wry grin, but she could see his breathing getting heavier. Ben threw his saber and it danced around her - close enough for her to feel the heat, but it didn’t touch her. She jumped at him and her yellow saber collided with his white. Locked in a cross between, she felt the sparks fly from them on her skin. A tingling sensation that made every nerve in her body spring to life. Ben put his head between them - in reality leaving himself open to decapitation - and kissed her. Rey felt her body sag and he used the opportunity to push her a few meters back.

“That was a dirty trick, Ben,” she growled playfully. “Where you always such a cheat?”

He grinned. “We both know that when I fight fair, I end up with scars.”

Rey felt a pang of guilt, but the look on his face quickly dissolved it - even if it bore proof of their previous battle. 

_ “Distract him. Pull off you sash. Slowly, _ ” Wrath whispered.

Rey bit her lip as she pulled off the sash always covering her, letting the closefitting shirt underneath reveal her curves. Ben’s grin faded as the look in his eyes grew darker. Rey charged again, but Ben walked around her, trapping her with her back against his chest and their sabers locked together in front of her. She felt his breath on her neck and she trembled involuntary. 

He chuckled and she felt it against his back. With a devious grin, she quickly crouched down and knocked him down as she swung his leg. She straddled him with a grin and held his arms in place. Ben’s eyes darkened and Rey swallowed, having trouble keeping his gaze. He flipped her around so he was above her. Kneeling between her thighs. Turning her head up she saw his eyes fill with an emotion that was not quite desire, but neither...

They heard the sound of speeders approaching and they quickly stood next to each other. Two speeders pulled up. One was caring Finn and Imot and the other Poe and BB-8.

As soon as he saw Ben, Poe nearly crashed the speeder and jumped off, reaching for his weapon. Finn managed to stop his speeder next to Rey and Ben, where Imot quickly jumped off as well. Rey felt her heart stop as Poe drew his blaster and pointed it at Ben. But before he could pull the trigger, or Rey could react, Imot jumped in front of Ben. 

Ben placed a hand on Imot’s shoulder. “Don’t.”

“Imot will not let you hurt his friend!” The Evocii stared at Poe with intense determination. Ben attempted to push him out of the way, but Imot refused to move. Rey knew that Ben could easily knock him over, but it was obvious he didn’t want him hurt.

“You are aware who you are protecting, right?” Poe shook his head, gesturing with his blaster. “Do you know how many people he has murdered? How much misery he has caused.”

“Doesn’t matter. He might have been cruel to others, but not to Imot. He  _ saved  _ Imot.”

BB-8 made a confused sound and looked up at Poe. Poe lowered his blaster laughing from disbelief. “You have  _ got _ to be kidding me!”

“It’s true.” Finn placed a hand on Poe’s shoulder. “He saved him.”

Rey stepped up next to Imot and looked straight at Poe. Her heart was pounding and she felt her face flush from anger.

“Rey, don’t. You don’t have to,” Ben said softly, but she ignored him.

“You know what he has done for the Resistance. You know what he has done  _ for me _ !” 

Poe stomped right up to them. “That doesn’t excuse it!”

“And what would Leia say if she saw you trying to murder her son?”

Poe looked at Rey and growled throwing the blaster on the ground. He paced back and forth as Rey released a breath of relief. She felt Ben’s hand on her shoulder and both she and Imot turned to look at him. His eyes were sad even as the rest of his face remained passive. He gently encouraged both of them to move, and Rey took a place next to him instead of in front. Poe stopped his pacing and stared at Ben.

“And what do you have to say for yourself?”

“Nothing.”

Poe rubbed his face with both his hands. “Really? Nothing?”

Ben took a step forward, his demeanour calm and collected. “We both know there is nothing I can do to change what I did. And you wouldn’t take my apology even if I gave it to you.”

“Do you even feel guilt about what you have done? Your mother  _ loved _ you. Is even some part of you ashamed?”

“Yes.” His voice was calm and his face passive, but Rey could feel the emotion in him as if he had cried out in despair.

Poe narrowed his gaze at Ben for several moments, then threw his hands up into the air with a frustrated cry. He then turned to Finn, pointing at him.

“You better not be lying about that drink!” Poe hissed and walked into the ship.

Finn and BB-8 followed Poe inside the ship.

Ben smiled. “Thank you, Imot. You didn’t have to do that.”

“And you didn’t have to free Imot from the Hutts.” Imot started to whistle as he walked into the ship, and Ben shook his head as Rey giggled.

Rey took his hand and gave him a smile. “There are still people who care about you.”

She felt his hand on her cheek as he leaned down to give her a slow, but chaste kiss. 

When they walked inside Poe was angrily pulling at the cabinets in the mess section of the ship - looking for a drink apparently. He managed to find some sort of whisky and a glass. Imot was sitting down in the booth and gave them a genuine smile as they came on board. The Evocii could have chosen to blame Ben for his injuries, but instead he considered him a friend he would risk his life for.

BB-8 was rolling around the ship, but when it discovered HK lying dismantled on the floor, it rushed behind Rey making frightened beep sounds.

Rey smiled down at him. “It’s alright, BB-8. He was damaged, but I’m going to fix him.”

BB-8 turned its head to look up at her then rolled over to the droid carefully. Finn grinned at Rey before walking over to Poe, while Ben kept a respectful distance from all of them.

Poe threw himself down in the booth and gave Ben an icy stare as he poured himself a drink. He swallowed it in one gulp then poured another.

“Now, who is going to explain to me what the hell is going on?”

They all sat down and began telling the story from Exogol to the Hutts. Ben took a seat next to Rey at the very edge of the booth. Rey had expected Poe to interrupt, but he just sat there quietly and listened. He didn’t even touch the second drink he was nursing in his hands. Rey took Ben’s hand underneath the table - hoping that somehow she might make it easier for him. When his fingers interlaced with hers and his thumb gently stroked her hand, it took all her willpower not to smile.

“But yeah…” Finn rubbed the back of his neck as he scowled at Ben. “As much as I hate to admit it, we owe him.”

Rey looked over at BB-8, who was poking at the parts of HK, making beeping sounds as if it was attempting to communicate with its fellow droid. 

Poe finally took a sip of his drink and looked at Ben carefully, but this time without the rage from earlier. “It would seem so. Look, frankly I don’t trust you. After what you did, I just can’t risk it. Even if I wanted to.”

“I understand.” Ben nodded and it made Rey’s heart ache how calm he was about it.

“But I can’t turn away help either. I can’t just let you run off now that you know the location of our base.”

“I know, but Turrgo is not going to wait patiently for you to trust me.”

“He has a point.” Finn scratched his neck. “Look, I know you don’t trust him, but you trusted me. You had no reason to trust a Stormtrooper, but you did. He was Kylo Ren, but he is also Leia’s son - and he is helping us.”

“Damn it,” Poe hissed and got up. “Finn and BB-8 will stay here with you until I figure out what in the galaxy I’m going to do with you. I have to go back to base. You coming Imot?”

Imot looked at Ben for a moment. “Ben and Imot are friends, but Imot can help with taking down Turrgo.”

Ben gave him a small smile. “You don’t have to explain. Take care of yourself.”

The Evocii smiled and walked after Poe out of the ship. Finn got up and walked after them.

“Thank you,” said Ben and got up as Finn passed him.

“Don’t thank me.” Finn looked down at Rey. “I didn’t do it for you.”

BB-8 made a discouraged beep then started rolling around the new ship. Rey got up and rested a hand on his back.

“It will be alright.” She smiled and Ben gave her a kiss on her cheek before retreating to the lower hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> Please leave prompts and wishes if you have any :)
> 
> Wrath is inspired by a character in Star Wars of the Old Republic.


	9. Chapter 9

Alone in the captain’s cabin, Ben had tossed and turned the entire night. He kept thinking of Rey. Kept  _ feeling _ her. Since discovering their force bond, he had always been more comfortable with it than her. He had been so desperate for any sort of connection to another being that it felt like a salvation. Dark or light was inconsequential as long as she was at his side. He had tried to convince her to join the dark and failed, which meant he had to make a choice. It was power, strength, victory… passion… or it was Rey. Choosing Rey had been easier than he expected. Letting go of the power, strength and victory of the First Order had been almost a relief. Letting go of passion… well, there was a reason why he had been unable to sleep.

He turned in bed and covered his head with a pillow. 

_ “As if that would block her out?” _ He scoffed at himself. The bond between them had given him a sense of purpose and hope after a lifetime of isolation. The fact that she  _ wanted _ to see all of him, and eventually did so without fear was more than he could have hoped for. He knew her loneliness because he had always felt it. He sensed the fear in his father, mother and even Luke - the possibility that he would become another Vader. It made him lock most of who he was away in shame. And by their fear, they shaped him into their worst nightmare.

_ “They asked and the Force answered,” _ Wrath’s voice whispered with compassion.

On one hand, Ben was weary of the Sith’s presence. He had seen enough of dark side deception to know not to take them at the word, but even so he couldn’t deny there was something different about her. On the other hand he was wondering when his mind would ever be his own again as it seemed haunted by both her and Kenobi. At least they appeared to have the same agenda rather than pulling him in either direction - balance.

He felt Rey again, as strongly as if he was drawing breath through her lungs. Where the bond usually gave him comfort, it now brought him agony. He threw himself onto his back his fingers clawing at the sheets as his back arched. He could  _ taste  _ her tongue pressed against his,  _ feel _ her skin beneath his touch,  _ hear _ her quickened breath. All of it was mingled harmoniously with his own, and a part of his mind begged her to enter his quarters, instead of staying in the crew quarters with Finn. Another part would be mortified if she actually felt his desperate longing for her.

As the first rays of light passed through the window, he gave up and reached for his clothes. He looked into the mirror as he ran his fingers through his hair. His clothes were not unlike what he had first worn when he joined the Order of Ren… not unlike his father. Though at least the beard was a change. Despite the unpleasant memories they awoke, those were the clothes of an outlaw and that was exactly what he was. He reached for his lightsaber and it flew into his hand as he exited the cabin.

Outside, the sun was just starting to shine through the trees and a light fog was hanging in the air. Ben ignited the lightsaber and the white glow harmonized with the fog. Each stroke pulled the mist with it, leaving a trail in its path. Ben smiled as he noticed and something playful awoke in him. Since he was a child and he first felt his mother’s worry, he had locked away a large part of who he was. It was this hidden corner of his spirit Snoke found and managed to hide in.

Ben shook his head, trying to keep the darker thoughts at bay. He twirled the ignited saber in his hand and allowed it to slide down his arm, where the hilt made a turn around his neck. It travelled down his other arm and he twirled it around his elbow before grabbing it in his other hand. He looked at it with a smile, when he noticed Rey looking at him from the ship. Her eyes darted away from him as soon as he noticed her and she blushed. Ben was ready to walk to her, but she quickly turned around, walked back into the ship and Finn walked out.

Ben gave an exasperated sigh and rubbed his face with his hand. He knew she felt as strongly as he did, but it seemed that whenever they attempted to cross the boundary of defining what they were byond a dyad in the force, an interruption would occur.

“That looked dangerous,” Finn said with a smile that was almost encouraging.

Ben came to the conclusion that if it was, it was only because Finn hoped Ben would chop his own head off in the process. Ben hilted his lightsaber and reached out for one of the crates he had gone through yesterday outside that contained items he stole from Turgo. Among the items were several training sabers - old, but still functional. 

“You were unfocused in that last fight. You need to learn how to focus.” Ben threw Finn a saber and twirled the one he was holding. Finn raised a brow as he held the training saber with both hands, as if he had never held a saber before. Something Ben remembered quite accurately wasn’t the truth.

Ben smirked. “It’s just a practice saber.”

“I know what it is,” Finn hissed, taking a hold of the hilt. “What am I doing with it?”

Rey walked out of the ship holding HK’s head under her arm and had a repair kit in the other.

“Ben, what are you doing?” Rey grinned with an amused twinkle in her eyes.

“Well, your friend here needs some training if--” Ben paused as Finn stared at him, shaking his head with a very sour expression on his face.

Ben held up a hand for Rey to stay where she was, and she just grinned before attending to HK as she sat down on the walkway and opened the kit. Ben walked up close to Finn and stood shoulder to shoulder with him, his back turned towards Rey.

“You haven’t told her.” Ben’s voice was low.

“No. I haven’t told  _ anyone _ .”

“You’re aware she’ll notice eventually.” Ben looked Finn straight in the eye. “Right?”

“What is going on with you two?” Rey walked up to them with a disgruntled look on her face. “I don’t expect you to like each other, but you could at least be civil.”

Ben folded his arms across his chest and looked at Finn. “Are you going to tell her or should I?”

“Tell me what?”

Finn let out a sigh. “I think I might be you know…”

“What?” Rey said, giving him a puzzled look.

“Oh for the love of...” said Ben. “He is force sensitive.”

Finn pointed at Ben. “Not cool!”

“You are? Of course you are. How did I not sense it?” Rey shook her head and looked at Ben. “How long have you known?”

“Since he duelled me in the forest, but I suspected when I sensed his hesitation on Jakku. And despite your power and wisdom,” Ben smiled at her with affection, “you are still new to the ways of the Jedi. Not to mention Finn’s powers are mostly dormant.”

Rey looked at Finn for a moment and Ben could both feel and see the hurt in her as she looked at her friend. Questions cascaded inside her at a pace where he couldn’t decipher what exactly she was feeling.

She smiled at Finn, though it wouldn’t have taken force sensitivity to tell it wasn’t real. “You should let him train you.”

Finn shook his head. “No, bad idea! Why can’t you do it?”

“He has trained all his life. He can help you far better than I can.” Rey looked back at HK. “Besides, I have a droid to fix. I promised I would.”

She looked at Ben with a genuine smile and he felt his heart speed up. For her to be so upset and yet a mere reminder of a promise  _ she _ made to  _ him _ was enough to bring a smile to her face… it was beyond what Ben had ever considered possible. Finn gave a sigh as he watched Rey walk away, but he raised the training saber.

“Show me what you’ve got then,” Fin challenged.

Ben walked a few paces away. “Think about it. You could be my padawan.”

“Padawan?”

“Jedi apprentice.”

Finn’s features hardened as he scowled. “That’s not funny, Ben!”

Ben… not Kylo Ren. Perhaps things were changing for the better. Ben turned with a wry grin on his face and Finn stared at him with an unamused expression.

“You’re ugly, when you smile, you know that?” Finn sneered and Ben leaned his head back laughing.

* * *

  
  


Rey picked up HK’s head and the tools as she looked at Finn and Ben spar. She had thought she had earned Finn’s trust. That they were friends and that he trusted her, but if he was willing to keep the fact that he was force sensitive hidden from her, then perhaps their friendship wasn’t what she thought it was. Which led to the question: why hadn’t she sensed it?

Reaching a clearing, she sat down as the morning fog slowly dissipated and she tried to focus on repairing HK. The nagging thoughts as to why she hadn’t sensed Finn’s abilities, or the fact that he was keeping something from her, continued to plague her. Though, had she any right to judge? She had never been open about Ben and the connection she forged with him - even when she had a notion that Finn was attracted to her. Was she really that shallow?

“I used to own a model like that.”

The sound of Lord Wrath’s voice brought her back to the present. The force ghost took a seat next to Rey and looked at the head.

“A reliable model, and a good friend to those it serves. Saved my life on multiple occasions. It would be a shame for this to be the end for it.” 

There was a fondness in the Sith’s voice Rey had trouble understanding how it could possibly be sincere. Not because she didn’t believe it was genuine, but because she did.

Rey reached for a spanner in the toolkit. “I will repair him.”

“I have no doubt you will, but for that you need focus - which you’re lacking at present.”

She turned on the trunk to look at Wrath. “How didn’t I know my best friend was force sensitive?”

“Because though your power is formidable, you are still very much a novice when it comes to your abilities.” The red eyes were kind and the smile on those bright red lips seemed comforting - almost like what you might expect of a parent.

“Then how could I use my powers so suddenly? How could I defeat Ben in the forest? I don’t understand.”

“You defeated him using powers and knowledge that was not your own.” Obi-Wan appeared in the mist and sat down on a rock across from them.

Rey narrowed her gaze. “What do you mean?”

“Think, girl,” Wrath said. “When did your power awake?”

“When Ben interrogated me. He touched my mind and…” Rey looks to the ground with her mouth agape. “Of course. He activated the dyad by touching my mind. That is when my powers emerged.”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan nodded. “But it was more than that. By awakening the dyad, more than just a bond was created between you. You were able to wield that saber and defeat him for two reasons. One--”

“He didn’t want to hurt you.” Wrath interrupted and gave Obi-Wan a wicked grin, though he merely shook his head with a smile in return.

“Two,” Obi-Wan continued with a raised brow. “Because you used  _ his _ knowledge and  _ his  _ power. At that moment you didn’t need the training because unconsciously you were tapping into the years of training he already had.”

Rey held a hand to her mouth. “Of course… it all makes sense now… but it still doesn’t explain how I didn’t sense Finn was force sensitive.”

“When Ben and Finn thought you were unconscious, and when you did face Ben, the only reason you could tap into it so effectively was because his guard was lowered.” Obi-Wan’s expression turned somber.

“Because he had just killed his father…” Rey swallowed, feeling a different ache in her heart regarding the incident than ever before. Where she had only ever felt her own loss, she now felt Ben’s just as keenly. What the deed did to him. How broken he had been ever since.

“Tell me,” Wrath said. “How was he in the encounters you had after that first fight?”

Rey pursed her lips as she tried to recall. “Conflicted at first, but aware. Curious almost. Then that changed to resolve.”

“And when did it do that?” The Wrath eyed her intently and Rey looked into her flaming eyes.

“When I was threatened. When he wanted me to join him… to protect me… even from myself.”

Obi-Wan smiled at her. “Ben has a lot of conflict inside himself he needs to resolve, but as far as training goes he is as capable as any Jedi Master.”

“Or Sith Lord for that matter,” Wrath added. “But he needs that balance from you, and you still need a lot of training before you can truly claim your abilities as your own.”

Rey looked between the both of them. “I believe I understand.”

“Good.” Obi-Wan smiled as he got up. “Now, to find my pupil and make certain he hasn’t maimed his.”

There was something almost cheerful about Obi-Wan as he left, and Rey shook her head and turned, only to find that Wrath had disappeared as well.

* * *

  
  


Rey returned to the ship after a while and saw Ben and Finn still training. From the looks of it, Finn still had a fair amount of aggression to let out, and Ben seemed to take some perverse pleasure in having it directed it at him. Almost like a nexus cat fighting a rabid womp rat. Ben smiled at Rey as she returned, which was an opportunity Finn did not let him pass by as he tried to hit Ben in the stomach. Only a last moment parry prevented it. 

Rey walked inside the ship with HK’s head still under her arm. In the hold she began putting the rest of the droid back together, when she heard Ben coming down the ladder.

“Rey, are you alright?”

She looked back at him and couldn’t help but smile at his concern. “I’m fine. How is training with Finn?”

“Obi-Wan is saying I’m going too hard on him.”

Ben walked up behind her and she could feel his body heat against her back as he looked down over her shoulder. “Can you repair him?”

“I’m almost done. I’m concerned about his memory core though.”

Rey felt Ben’s hands on her waist and turned her head to look up at him. He leaned down to kiss her murmuring; “Thank you.”

She pressed her back against his torso and he hummed appreciatively. His kiss turned more fierce and Rey had to put both hands on the table in front of her to keep her balance. His hold on her waist got firmer and he began kissing her down her neck. Rey leaned her head back against him, releasinga whimper, and she felt his groin pressed against her backside. Her body had a will of its own and her mind was far too gone to offer any direction. She rubbed herself back against him, making him moan against her neck. Her blood rushed through her and she rubbed her thighs together impatiently, not entirely certain what she was impatient for.

I high pitched sound came from HK’s head in front of them and Ben jumped back. Rey looked down and realised she must have reactivated a circuit on accident. When she turned to Ben, his eyes were dark, his face flushed, and there was some feral about the way he heaved for breath. For a moment Rey figured he was about to rush to her and lift her onto the table, but another high pitched sound broke whatever spell had been between them.

Frustrated she returned to her task, as Ben began sorting out some of the caches with Jedi and Sith artefacts. They avoided looking at each other and didn’t say a word. Rey was concerned that if she broke the unspoken agreement for quiet, both of them would lose control. Not that she didn’t want it… When  _ had _ she begun wanting it?... But with Finn on the ship and it being during the day, they might get interrupted again.

Rey’s shadow was cast from a red glow behind her, and when she turned, Ben was looking down into a crate where the red glow came from. Almost done with HK, save for activating him, she walked over next to Ben. She recognised the small red pyramid.

“A Sith holocron, “ Ben said in a low voice holding his hand above it as if afraid to touch it.

“Not any Sith holocron,” Wrath said as she showed up next to them.

“That is the holocron of Darth Malgus. A dangerous Sith Lord,” Obi-Wan warned.

“We are all dangerous, dear,” Wrath purred with a smirk. “What makes him interesting is that he too, struggled with the balance between light and dark. Added to that he wanted what was best for the empire before his own whims. A man of principle, even if his life kept taking unfortunate directions.”

Rey looked at Obi-Wan. “Is this true?”

“I know little of the Sith I fear.”

Wrath leaned over the crate and her eyes darkened as she looked at him. Rey felt the same energy that had been between herself and Ben earlier - enough to recognize the lust and passion it carried. She swallowed trying desperately to hide her blush.

“I would gladly teach you, my dear Obi-Wan.”

“I am certain you would, my darling.” Obi-Wan grinned, his flirting based more on amusement than attraction, which also could be said for the Wrath.

Rey wished she could dismiss what had happened between her and Ben as the same… and yet she didn’t. Jedi’s should avoid attachments. It is what created Darth Vader, but then isolated from attachments and love was what created Kylo Ren. The journey seemed to offer Rey more questions than answers.

“Perhaps we should destroy it or hide it away,” Ben murmured, his discomfort in the light of the holocron all too clear.

Wrath put a hand on his cheek with a motherly affection. “Not if you want to face your fears and find balance. Take the holocron and go to Korriban. The holocron will give you coordinates and guidance once you are there.”

Obi-Wan frowned looking at her. “And you will keep him safe.”

Wrath looked at him with a serious expression. “I do not make promises lightly, nor do I abandon my responsibilities. I will protect the boy with all that I am.”

The Ben Rey knew earlier would likely have been offended, but instead he raised one brow with a smirk.

Ben looked down at Rey. “Will you come with me?”

Rey took his hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “Of course.”

* * *

Ben looked over the golden wasteland of Korriban from the cliff where they had landed. He could sense the darkness of the place even from space. The strength of the force surrounding the planet could not be denied, but it was as dark. As dark as Snoke and Palpatine, only here he could sense the whispers of generation after generation of Sith.

Rey and Finn stepped out of the ship and stood next to him.

“So this is Korriban.” Rey looked over it with a concerned expression as she took his hand. Even after feeling the darkness of the place, she still put his feelings first. 

“What is this place?” Finn asked as he used a pair of binoculars to look for tombs in the distance.

“The ancient training ground of the Sith and home to both the Dark Council and the Sith Academy.” Ben looked down at the dark holocron in his hand.

“Wait, academy?” Finn lowered the binoculars and rubbed his eyes for a moment before looking at Ben in confusion. “What happened to there only being two?”

“The rule of two was introduced by a Sith Lord named Darth Bane much later. During the time of Revan, there were as many Sith as there were Jedi.”

“Wonderful.” Sarcasm dripped from Finn’s lips. “And their ghosts are still floating around down there?”

Rey looked at Ben and he knew she sensed them too. “Hopefully Darth Malgus isn’t one of them.”

Finn grumbled. “I’ll stay here with HK. That droid isn’t quite right yet, but if there is the slightest sign of trouble--”

“We will contact you.” Rey smiled and placed a hand on his arm.

HK came down the ramp to the ship with a speeder. “Compliance: The speeder as requested, Master.”

“Good. Stay here with Finn and guard the ship until we return,” Ben said and got on the speeder.

Rey got up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Despite where they were going and the sense of the planet, Ben felt some comfort and happiness at having her arms wrapped around him. So much so that he didn’t know if he took the longer route to enjoy the feeling of having her close or to delay the inevitable.

The holocron guided Ben and Rey through the wasteland and down into the valley as the sun began setting in the distance. Even as the light of the suns still lit up the sand, the massive cliffs cast long shadows over the landscape. The holocron guided them into a ravine, shadows overlapping making it difficult for Ben to see - his eyes having to adjust to the sudden darkness. Large statues of sith were carved into the rock, hovering over them as they passed them. Most had been damaged through the centuries. Ben felt Rey’s arms tighten around him further. Getting to the the deepest part of the ravine, a sealed door appeared with huge statues of a hooded figure on either side. Ben stopped the speeder and held Rey’s hand as she got off. He stood next to her as he held the holocron in his hand. Pulsating with dark energy, there was no doubt in Ben’s mind he had come to the right place. The final resting place of Darth Malgus.

“We should get this over with,” Rey said as she stepped forward, but Ben reached for her wrist.

“I need to do this alone.” 

She looked back at him, her eyes filled with concern. “Are you sure?”

“Yes… please… wait for me here.”

She nodded and he leaned forward giving her a kiss before walking towards the steps leading to the entrance. As he walked up the stairs, he looked at the statues. They were incredibly detailed and he could see the cybernetics all over the the body, and a mask that hid most of the statues face, but revealed a pair of eyes with a hostile gaze. Damaged and ancient as they were, they still managed to create a sense of dread when you looked directly at them.

Ben reached the entrance to the tomb and the heavy stone gave away at the sense of the holocron. He walked inside and expected the door to slam shut behind him, but it didn’t. Instead he ignited his saber and went deeper into the tomb. Even with the glow from the sith holocron and his white lightsaber, vision was poor. The only thing that gave him a sense of the scale of the place was the echo when he kicked the occasional rock. He heard something scutter in the dark, and towards him came an entire nest of k’lor’slugs. 

“I remember these. We fought them constantly as acolytes. Many of us ended up at fodder for these things,” Wrath sighed as she looked around. “Beware of their venom. They spit.”

Ben jumped forward and twirled around with his saber cutting three of them down at once. He flipped backwards as he heard a gurgling sound and the green fuming venom managed only to hit one of his boots. With the force he made the venom splatter towards them before throwing his saber cutting the last three down. He looked down at the corpses, and while he might have had an easy time defeating them, he shuddered to think what had happened to the inexperienced acolytes armed only with training weapons.

His heart began beating harder in his chest - not from the combat alone, but the increased humming of the holocron and a feeling he couldn’t quite identify.

_ “Tu Setup Nenx Zinot Tapti' Stai.”  _

Ben turned as he heard the whisper behind him, but saw nothing. It had a ghostly snakelike hissing to the way the words were expressed. And while he had never heard the accent before or spoken, he knew the language - Sith. He steadied himself and reached the final room. An altar and sarcophagus was presented on top of the stairs. The holocron flew out of his hand of its own volition and placed itself on the altar.

“The runes,” Wrath whispered and Ben ventured up the stairs and looked down at the altar.

Malgus sarcophagus was standing upright and his likeness is staring down at Ben - the same likeness at the statues outside. He reached into the stachel on his belt and pulled out the runes. He chanted as he placed them on the altar.

“Peace is a lie, there is only passion.    
Through passion I gain strength.    
Through strength I gain power.    
Through power I gain victory,    
and through victory my chains are broken.    
The force shall set me free.”

Ben sensed the power emerging from the runes as the holocron began circulating in the air above the altar. Ben put both hands into the air and channeled all he felt. His passion and carnal desire for Rey. The strength it had taken to turn his back on Luke and Snoke. The power he had gained from killing Snoke and the power he felt in Rey’s presence. The victory of deceiving Palpatine - a mastermind even among Sith - and helping Rey destroy him. The sense of freedom he felt, when they were finally gone. No Luke. No Snoke. No Palpatine. No longer would anyone dictate the path his life should take. Ben was free!

At the elation of this realization, sith lighting emerged from his hands and he threw it towards the altar in front of him. The force ghost of Darth Malgus appeared before him, his red eyes filled with hatred and darkness, his skin sickly pale and filled with scars. The hissing of his mask echoed in the room, but what was more impressive was his stature. He was as tall as Ben, but with a musculature that seemed unnatural. 

“I am Darth Malgus. Conqueror of Coruscant, a visionary of a new empire, but you already know this. What would you have of me?”

His voice was deep and calm, even as Ben could feel the hatred passing through him.

“Show me your past.”

“Why does it concern you?” Malgus turned his back to him, looking into the dark.

“I have been pulled towards the dark and the light, never being able to stop. I need balance in myself, or it will destroy me.”

Malgus turned his head, his eyes only just managing to peek underneath his hood. “Yes, I feel the conflict even now. Even more your hatred for not being able to quell it. What do you think is pulling at you?”

“The memory of my father, my mother, and someone I…” Ben was unable to finish the sentence.

“Someone you love.” Malgus nodded with understanding. “I can show you what I did to resolve the conflict you speak of. I will show you my wife.”

The ghost of Malgus dispurses and on the altar a vision appears, drawing Ben closer.. deeper… further.

Ben saw Malgus standing next to a red Twi’lek.

“She was my wife.” Malgus’ voice sounded from all around Ben. “Once a slave, she was loyal, but fierce, and I lack the words to describe the passion with which I loved her.”

A flash of red blinded Ben, and when he regained his sight Malgus’ saber was lit and was through the torso of his wife. Shocked and disgusted, Ben pushed against the trance and found himself once again in the tomb. He looked at the forceghost of Malgus.

“Why?!” Ben demanded in a scream that shook the entire tomb.

“My love for her pulled me towards the light. Concepts of mercy, love, and devotion drove me towards the light - much as it does you. You know why, it was why you killed your father.”

Ben felt panic embrace his being and grabbed the holocron as he began to run out of the tomb. Malgus was right. It was the exact reason why he had killed his father, but even so it had not occurred to him that he might…that he might.

Ben ran out of the temple, heaving for breath and leaving the holocron in the dust. He held onto the stone railing of the stairs as his knees buckled under him while the visions continued to engulf him.

“Ben?” 

He felt Rey’s hand on his shoulder and he spun around drawing her into his embrace.

“What’s wrong?” She looked up at him, trying to meet his gaze, but he kept avoiding it. He couldn’t face it. “Talk to me, please.”

“I need air… I can’t… I need...” Neither his mind nor his words were coherent, as his entire being was in a state of flight. 

“Of course.” 

She took his hand without hesitation and led him away from the old Sith temple. The sun was setting in the distance and the last rays of the blood red sky clashing against the dark of night. Ben sat on a bedroll in the sand as Rey set up shelter and started a fire. It would take hours to get back to the ship, and Ben had no wish to return. No wish for Finn to see him in such a state.

“What did you see?” Rey asked in a calming voice, sitting down next to him with a blanket around her shoulders.

“I saw Malgus.”

Rey gave him a concerned look. “You’re not easily rattled.”

She was right. Ben was prone to anger and had trouble controlling his emotions, but afraid and unable to act? No.

“He was a powerful Sith Lord, but he felt the draw of the light just as I did. He realised that the reason was his love for a twi'lek - his wife.” Ben trembled as his tears fell from his eyes. “So he killed her.”

He had expected her to be revolted, stunned, and pull away from him in fear. Instead Rey’s arms went around his neck as she comforted him.

“I’m so sorry. I know it must have reminded you of your father.”

He moved away from her, unable to have her so close.

“And now here I am anyway. It was all for nothing. His death was for nothing!” Ben pressed his wrists into his eyes and cried out in anger.

“Ben, let me help you.” She looked at him with so much patience, it felt like a physical ache.

“No!” He backed away from her, and tried to ignore how his heart squirmed at her hurt expression.

“Why not? Why won’t you let me help you?”

“Because I love you!” His confession echoed along the walls of the valley.

Rey’s mouth was slightly open as she stared at him trying to breathe. When she finally spoke, it was barely beyond a whisper. “And that’s a bad thing?”

Ben shook his head. “You didn’t see what he did to her. Just the idea that I might…”

“You haven’t hurt me yet. Despite all our fighting.” She moved forward and took him in her arms again.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck pulling her closer. A feeble attempt to escape from his emotional state and the memories that kept flashing through his mind. He still heard his father's last words to him - even felt his hand on his cheek.

For minutes they sat in silence and when Rey pulled away it was only to hand him some rations and some water. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he kissed her forehead as they both looked into the flames. 

After a bit, Rey pulled away and looked at him with her warm hazel eyes. “You know, there is a positive to this.”

“What?”

“Think about it. You came here to learn how to resist being pulled back to the dark side, and you found that answer. Love is what prevented Malgus from becoming fully Sith, just as it did you.” She smiled at him as she took his hand. “You can do this. I believe in you and you won’t fall again.”

He chuckled, and despite the many tears a large smile formed. “I do love you, Rey. I shouldn’t have waited so long to tell you.”

She gave him a broad grin, then grabbed his collar pulling him in for a deep kiss. She giggled as she pulled away and he rested his brow against hers.

“I love you, too.”

He held both his hands on her face and let his thumb caress her cheekbones. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I'm so sorry for this chapter taking so long. I hope you'll enjoy it :) 
> 
> Many thanks to my amazing beta reader. This story wouldn't be the same without her :)


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